#aboutlastnight (ONC 2020 Shortlist)

I'm Totally in Love with Myself

Surprisingly enough, screaming doesn't help. I'm still a gorgeous young woman stuck in a man's body with only a letter filled with beady cursive handwriting for a clue.

So, I stop screaming, which is a blessing, since my ears were starting to ache from the sound, and do what any sane person in my predicament should have done the moment they woke up. Pick up that exquisite Ralph Lauren dress off the floor.

Of course, this means I'd have to also pick myself up, but since it's still me inside this body, it's not like some strange man is fondling me.

I stand from the floor, ready to put my man-muscles to work. I'm slightly shocked by how tall I am. Even with the most fabulous heels, I've never seen the world from this height. #seethegoodineverything.

That's right, I know better. I will not panic and accept this with poise and grace until I can figure out just what the freak-frack happened and how to get back into my own slender body. #mindfulness.

I pick my body off the floor and I'm instantly filled with pride. I'm so light and delicate. But that's not relevant now since I'm maybe dead? I don't dare take my pulse. In truth, I'm not really sure how to do that, but maybe it's better this way. I place myself on the table/bed and step back to admire myself.

If I had ebony hair, I could be Snow White, awaiting true love's kiss to break the spell. If I were blonde, I could be Princess Aurora, awaiting true love's kiss to break the curse.

I sigh wistfully and it sounds really weird so I make a mental note not to do that again. For a moment, I am tempted to cover my body with a blanket, since the room is so cold, but I have no idea where to find a blanket and just in case I'm dead, freezing temperatures are better for preserving the body. I might just become a fabulous icicle yet.

Unfortunately, being in the same room as my corpse is not helping me think, so I haul ass out of there towards the only visible door. The moment I'm out of the room, I stumble in shock.

For one thing, it's warm. And it's not the hallway of some freaky lab.

I've just entered a carpeted hallway with dark wooden-panel covered walls in mahogany shades. There's a door on my left and an opening on my right which seems to lead to a living room or a library, because all I can see is a giant bookcase filled to the brim and half of a creme couch.

This is difficult. Exit or comfortable living space? I'm still cold so I could do with a hot coco. Maybe they have a kitchen. But as I look towards the exit, my mind is instantly made up.

Bingo! There's a mirror hanging halfway down the hall. Even if I half-fear this, I need to know what I look like now. How ugly and gross I might be. So with more bravery than I thought I had, I strut down the hall. Okay, strutting is a lot less effective without the high heels. I just walk then.

The moment I reach the mirror, I close my eyes and place myself in front of it.

Deep breaths, Carolyn. This is the biggest trial of your life, but you can do it! Of course I can do it. I can do anything because #girlpower. #womanempowerment. #idontneednoman.

I open my eyes. Bright blues stare back at me, so gorgeous, my breath hitches. They're not even blue, but cerulean, so deep and strong. Just like the rest of my gorgeous face. Gorgeous upper body. Gorgeous everything. I've never seen such a beautiful man except...

Holy crapsticks, I'm Damian!

I scream again, only to stop in seconds. Damian is not made to scream. He is a hot, hot hunk of man meant to brood and give witty one-liners. I can't help but touch my face, my arms, my abs. Holy hell, my abs!