Part 1- My Mother

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                                                                TRẦN THỊ YẾN -    1959- 1983

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                                                                TRẦN THỊ YẾN - 1959- 1983

My mother died when I was about two and a half years old. Throughout my childhood I have felt, seen and heard strange stories about my deceased Mother and I dare to say that even though she no longer exists in this world in flesh and bones, her spirit was still alive as if she had unfulfilled responsibilities. Is it possible that the sacred love of a mother is a power so strong, like an invisible bonding string that can exist between two parallel world? Although it is only theory of the invisible parallel world with no evidence, but I still question the strange stories about my mother and the phenomena with no logical explanations and beyond science like what I have been through and experience.

My mother, Trần Thị Yến was born in 1959 year of the Pig when Vietnam was still in the fire of war. Growing up as an intelligent, sharp and witty woman with an older sister whom I called Aunty 2 Phượng. The two were known as two strikingly beautiful sisters in the land of coconut, Ben Tre. My mother was a very clever woman in her youth but with fierce personality which my Aunty 7 Thủy dearly regards her as "a vicious tigress".

Then the war ended, with echoes of firing guns, the inevitable deaths and cruelty were still engraved on the land following many years after. Life after the war was even more difficult when people had to start from scratch on their homeland. Land that had been tortured by war, draining of resources leading to poverty and sufferings. I felt that it could have been due to the harrowing times that forced my mother to be strong to survive.

According to my Aunty 2 Phượng's recount, my mother was intelligent, bold, charismatic and mature, in fact old before her age. Despite being fierce and feisty, she was a righteous woman and would stand up to injustice for herself and others. Aunty 2 Phượng loved mother very much, apart from the fact that they were sisters, I later learnt that my grandfather abandon my Mother as he suspect her being not his biological daughter. He denied my mother and did not fulfil his duty as a father or a husband to my grandmother back then. Because of that, Auntie 2 Phượng being big sister felt the responsibilities and empathy to love and protect her younger sister even more and the two were very close to each other.

My Aunty recalls, one hot summer night, back in the days when they were young. The two of them shared the same bed. Rolling around in the heat my mother came up with an idea. She suggest taking turns fanning a hundred times for each other to cool down. Before they had air-conditioning or even electricity, they only used paper fan. She asked my Aunty to start first. I felt deep emotions listening to my Aunty as this is the first time I know a little more about mother, a mother I have absolutely no recall of what she looks like in real life or even any memories of her when she was alive. It had been almost forty years. Listening attentively to the words of Aunty 2 Phượng I can pictured a house in the village with many water canals surrounding the island of coconut trees along the river bank.

Mother and Aunty would sleep on an old wooden bed with mosquito nets spreading out to the four posts. A long time ago, it was still a tropical jungle, with no electricity or power. When night falls it would be pitch black in the wilderness. The picturesque of a bamboo house in the middle of the jungle with the flickering of the kerosene lamp under the moonlight. The sounds of rustling coconut leaves above, croaking of toads and crickets below was the only sounds you would hear at night.

Aunty 2 Phượng sat there counting in her head while fanning for her beloved sister. After a short while,  Aunty felt tired and sleepy. My mother who was relaxing on her side then turned over to Aunty 2 and shouted at her for slowing down. Upon hearing this, I laughed out loud interrupting the story as I recalled how Aunty 7 Thủy said my Mother was very fierce and this is the evidence so. Aunty 2 Phượng jumped from her sleepiness eyes wide-open and continued fanning fast for her demanding and bossy little sister.

Aunty 2 Phượng loves mother very much and often spoils her. I could feel it in my Aunty's voice as she recall the story filled with emotions and love.  When the counting reached a hundred, Aunty notice mother was lying still and motionless. It turned out mother had been long asleep. Again, I could not help but laughed at my mother's cheekiness, but Aunty was not sad or angry she simply just let her little sister sleep peacefully and continued fanning for as long as she could.

Time passed, and eventually Aunty 2 Phượng had to get married. She remembers clearly at that time she was sad and did not want to leave her family so she came to my mother and cried. She thought my mother would comfort and encourage her to get married but to her shock, my mother unsympathetically yelled at her  "What are you crying about, you're just getting married it's not like your father died!" Needless to say, my mother being her fierce self, knew that her father abandon her, therefore also denied him as her father. Hence, she was angry and said what she said.

Funny to think how my mother was so fierce and I am quite the opposite, but how I wish that she was still alive because I admire an intelligent, righteous strong personality – she was a brave woman with strong survival instincts in her time.

Aunty 7 Thủy said that my mother was very good at socialising and business minded, she was a people's person. Although she was young, street wise, but well known with families and friends as a very warm, kind hearted person. She can be "a vicious tigress" at times, but it was just the outer shell. Deep down she was a kind-hearted woman who was willing to help others unconditionally.

My mother is the second born of a family of ten children. Aunty 7 Thủy is eleven years younger than my mother. When I was a baby, whenever mother went to work, she would leave me with Aunty 7 Thủy, and she would say to her "Take care of her for me ok dear". My Aunty 7 Thủy was very good at babysitting therefore my mother often assigned her the responsibility to care for me whenever she was away.

Aunty 7 Thủy said that after my mother passed away, she would often carried me out to play with her neighbors in the village. She recalls, sometimes as if I was missing my mother, and as a baby's natural instinct I would often reach out my hands in search of her breasts for comfort. Aunty 7 Thủy was still very young at the age of 11-12 years old. Though she was very embarrassed, but because she felt sorry for me being an orphaned so young, she would just let me be despite the teasing of other kids around her. Upon hearing this, I was so touched at the same time embarrassed to hear this from her at this age...but I guess I am more grateful and happy to know that many aunties loved me when my mother died young.

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