❨14❩

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"You need to stop worrying so much, Kota," Dani smiles at me when she links our arms together, effectively tugging me into the auditorium of our school. All seniors are in here already and I tried to run away, unfortunately, my best friend caught me before I had the chance. My feet drag unwillingly as she pulls me with her. 

We sit down in the back, the secluded section of this room, and I am appreciative, "I really don't want to go this year."

"This year? It's the only year we have the chance of going, hence the senior part of senior trip. Please don't make me leave alone with Relly, we're a team when we deal with her," She begs as an offended Relly suddenly sits down next to her, this is their usual way of talking to and about each other so I'm not bothered. 

"See, I am offended," She starts, but her frown turns into a smile almost immediately. "But I already knew that you feel that way, so no surprise really. Kota, I need you there to be able to deal with Dani, too."

"Guys," I tut at them, smiling. "All of us love each other, don't act like there is any spite in this group."

"Fine." They exclaim at the same time before laughing at each other. Shaking my head humorously I lean into the chair and relax. 

"But Relly and I want you there, it's going to be fun, please come," Dani's eyes are widened and her lower lip is puckered, making it hard for me to say no. Her Bambi eyes are always the reason for the mess she creates for me, I only get in trouble under her supervision. 

"Dani, I have some responsibilities here," I say in a hushed voice when the principal starts talking and catches Relly's attention. 

Understanding flashes in her eyes, "Look, I know, but your mom is there and she can surely help him. It's not like you leaving for three days will ruin anything for them."

I can't blame Dani for her reasoning, she doesn't know what's going on in our house. She doesn't know how much I'm trying to be the glue in my family, my leaving will ruin everything at home. My mom can't stay away from alcohol long enough and then my dad will know the truth, he will die knowing he's leaving his daughter with a woman struggling with substance abuse. It's too much for me to accept, his death has to be as calm and respectful as possible. 

"She.." I pause, not wanting to give away too much, but not wanting her to question my reasons either. "She can't."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, she can," The lie falls from my lips when I see her worried eyes. "But I want to be there for him. If he takes his last breath while I am away, that's something I won't ever forgive myself for."

She nods and puffs out her cheeks, "Will you do me the small favor of signing up anyway? Signing up gives you the opportunity of joining if anything changes, but you won't have to pay unless you actually attend. You know, compromise, as you've tried to teach me for years by now."

I smile in pride and nod my head at her, "Now that you're asking so nicely and compromising with me, I can't not sign up."

Her reciprocated smile falls slightly, "Should you not tell Relly soon enough? Zach has been an important person for her, too, you know. Not to pressure you, but I'm just testing the waters and maybe you can consider the possibility of letting her know."

Relly came into my life when I was struggling with the social aspect of school, she taught me how to work around social gatherings and her constant smile is what keeps me sane at times. She and Dani have known each other since they were in kindergarten, at first they hated each other, but when she officially joined the friendship, our trio was formed and now we are as strong as ever. Dani is right, I should tell her what's going on, but for some reason, it feels wrong. Like I'm betraying and using my dad, it's pathetic, but it feels like his secret to tell and I don't want to intrude on that. 

Meeting Dani's eyes, "If I feel like telling anyone else, she is the first person I will tell. But right now is not the time, I need to process it on my own before I can as much as consider consoling her. You and I both know that she will break down and I don't know if I can handle that right now."

Dani nods, "Fair enough, she is emotional and at times a wreck, but she is also our friend and deserves to know why you're distant. Like I said before, not pressuring you into anything, only opening your mind to the idea of informing her."

This is very typical of us, I get too used to habits and accepting how things are at the moment even though I want them to change. Dani is amazing at letting me know when I'm in that state and need an awakening. It's the result of a healthy and long friendship between us, she trusts me enough to voice her opinion and I trust her enough to turn the idea down. 

"You're right in the fact that she deserves to know, but I also need to mentally prepare for her to know. Maybe in a few weeks' time, I will be ready, I promise to let her know before he dies."

She seems content with my answer as she leans back in her seat and listens to our principal. Doing the same I find the eyes of Elijah sitting on the opposite end of this room, he is so incredibly handsome. His brown hair is ruffled to perfection and his sharp jawline accentuates his high cheekbones, some part of me feels weird for being so attracted to him already, but my body has its own mind and being near Elijah makes me feel alight. 

When he realizes I'm looking at him he winks and after giving me a sexy smirk, he slowly turns away again. I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and try to control the embarrassment of his obvious ways. A rough shove to my side lets me know that Dani saw it and my cheeks flare-up by his move and the fact that she saw.

Her widened eyes and an unattractively open mouth are hilarious, she points a finger in his direction before looking at me again, a smirk falls on her lips, "Oh girl, you are in for some serious questioning after this torture is over. That was not some platonic wink, I know my fucking winks. You and he know each other!"

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