Seventeen - Inferno

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Last night ended on a terrible note. If my heart was ripped from my chest, I'm sure it wouldn't be much more painful. I have learnt from it though. I need to step it up - take the game to the next level and make myself irresistible. Simple lovey-duveyness isn't cutting it. I cried myself to sleep last night, which is pitiful, and woke up to a puffy face which is just delightful. Today I'm just sad and feel like a bit of a zombie. I am trying to study but I find myself re-reading the exact same sentence three times in a row, and no knowledge is actually seeping into my brain. As my phone buzzes, highlighting the fact it is eleven and I haven't even washed my face, I feel a little lazy, but my home screen of Waverly and I makes me smile.

I have a message from Roxie asking if I am sure I won't go clubbing with her tonight, as her brother will be there too. I am meant to be going to the museums with Waverly this afternoon, but I am contemplating over cancelling and going clubbing with Roxie instead. I am in need of a night out, and if I play my cards right I can trick Zander into coming and give him hell for last night...

I know I am not being a great example of a best friend, but I am sure Waverly will understand and we can always rearrange for next weekend. Without stopping to let the guilt kick in, I quickly tell Roxie I have changed my mind and will be coming with her tonight. She texts back almost instantly all excited and asks if I want to make my way over to her apartment at three, so we have sufficient time to get ready for eight. Sheesh, what are we going to do for five hours? Shave our heads and glue each strand back on piece by piece? Just as I giggle to myself about my weird thought there is a knock at the door and Waverly comes in with a cup of Jasmine tea - the only tea I can stomach.

"Hi love how are you feeling?" She asks acting very motherly.

"I'm ok, thank you so much for the drink. How're you?" I ask with a smile.

She is the sweetest person on this planet, and always knows exactly what I need.

"I'm fine Nell. I'm so excited for the city today! There's this museum that I've been dying to go to..." Waverly starts excitedly as she plops down on my bed, but stops when she notices my ashamed expression. "You're not coming, are you?"

"I'm so sorry Waverly... But can we go next week? I just don't want to give up on Zander, and I have the perfect opportunity to make him jealous tonight at the club with Roxie. Of course you can come too!" I exclaim.

I feel bad as a flash of disappointment casts across her face, but she shrugs it off.

"Ok Nell I understand how important Zander is to you. We can just go next weekend! And you know me, clubbing isn't my scene, but you don't need to worry, I might go out for dinner with my friend River who is my partner in class. She's really nice and asked if we'd like to meet up sometime." Waverly reveals as she averts her eyes from mine.

"Oh... that's nice. I didn't realise you are... close." I comment, surprised to hear that Waverly is going out with someone that is not me.

The idea is a foreign concept. Fleetingly panic rushes into my system as I wonder whether this signifies that Waverly and I are slipping apart. Surely not... We have always been best friends; we are a package deal. I feel slightly choked but I'm just being dramatic... We are allowed to have other friends; it's healthy. And I'll be going out with other people tonight anyway, so it's good that she won't be alone.

"Yeah well she's really nice, and when you're at work or out with Rylan and Zander we've been chatting a little bit, and also her friend Nina is sweet... You'll have to meet them sometime."

"Yeah sure, sounds good." I agree but the air feels a little awkward between us.

We have never had tense moments before, or times where we grapple for things to say. Waverly itches the back of her head and clears her throat, as her vivid green eyes dart away from mine. I open my mouth to speak when we are saved by my phone, which starts trilling noisily.

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