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23.

❝how many secrets can you keep?❞

do i wanna know? ➳ arctic monkeys

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Deciding that the tights I have pulled out of my suitcase don't go with the dress I have decided to wear, I take them off and toss them onto the unmade bed.

I have only been in this hotel room for a couple of hours and it is already a mess.

There is a kettle and a supply of tea and coffee standing on the tray which rests on top of the dark wooden desk by the window, and I walk across the room to switch it on. I might as well have a decent cup of coffee before leaving so I won't fall asleep during dinner.

My feet are cold against the soft carpet, so I put on a pair of socks and then proceed to pull my boots onto my feet. At least these match my dress and I end up looking nice and elegant, unlike usual.

The water boils faster that it does when I use my own kettle at home, and I put two sachets of coffee into the hotel mug before pouring in the water. The coffee smells bitter and I scrunch up my nose, but I know better than to flush it down the toilet. I need a good dose of caffeine to keep me going for the rest of the night.

Dumping a spoonful of sugar into the mug, I toss the empty sachets into the bin below the desk and stir the coffee until the sugar dissolves.

When I check the time on my phone, I realise I have almost half an hour before I have to meet Michael, the rest of the band and their parents downstairs in the lobby. We have agreed to leave the hotel early because apparently the traffic here is awful. I can only imagine, considering we are in New York City.

I spend the rest of my time packing everything I need into my black handbag and flicking through the channels on the TV installed into the wall opposite the bed. I try to drink as much of my hot coffee as I possibly can, but it isn't long before I realise that two sachets is definitely too much. The coffee tastes too bitter and I have trouble swallowing it without scrunching up my face in disgust.

At 6:30pm, I put on my leather jacket, put the strap of my bag over my shoulder, grab my key card and walk out the door.

When I reach the lobby I realise that the rest of the band hasn't shown up yet, apart from Luke. He is sitting on a fancy white armchair under the spiral staircase, his phone in his hands and a rather bored expression on his face. The lip ring which usually shines on his face is brought between his teeth and his brows are furrowed in concentration.

I quietly take a seat on the matching chair which stands opposite where Luke is situated.

He lifts his head slightly and sends me a polite smile, letting go of the metal between his teeth so that if falls back into place, his lips redder than usual.

"Hi," I whisper and he nods his head at me before answering.

"Hey," he takes a short pause. "The lads should be here in a few minutes. I think."

"That's fine," I reply, and an awkward silence envelops us like it always does when we are left alone. I don't know why but I always feel uncomfortable around Luke. It's like I have this constant fear that he knows about me and Ashton and that he doesn't approve of what we are doing. I know it is silly because he doesn't know a thing, but I am still uneasy around him.

"So... How are you?" I try to start a conversation in hope of distracting myself from the anxiety that overwhelms me. I am glad that Ashton still hasn't told anyone about what is going on - or was, because I am done with it now - especially since I know he has a habit of making confessions when drunk, and these guys drink quite often when they are on tour.

"Good," Luke simply answers. "How was your flight?"

He doesn't seem too interested in the details of it, and I know that he, just like myself, is trying to keep the conversation going.

"Long and boring. But I was really happy Michael's mum was there with me. Otherwise I would've jumped out the window," I joke and despite how lame my attempt at being funny is, Luke chuckles slightly before turning his attention back to his phone.

"Ashton just texted me that he is on his way. Calum should be here soon, too," he informs me and I nod.

My eyes scan the lobby in search of something that could occupy me for the next couple of minutes. People are chatting amongst themselves by the front desk; an older lady admiring the elegant chandelier hanging from the ceiling above the desk.

I know that once Ashton gets here, he won't mention his little episode in my hotel room, and that he will probably pretend he didn't go into my room in the first place. I am glad. I don't want him putting us at risk of the others finding out, but I know he is not stupid.

A couple of seconds later the elevator at the opposite end of the lobby slides open and Ashton steps out. He has changed since I saw him last; a black dress shirt clings to his broad shoulders, the sleeves rolled up to reveal his muscular arms. His legs are clad in black skinny jeans, similar to the pair he wore earlier, except that these are not ripped. I have to say, he does look good, but when does he not? Ashton could put on a garbage bag and he would still look better than me with full makeup and in my best clothes.

I notice his eyes taking in my own appearance as he walks towards us, and he sends me a discreet wink which makes my face flush red. He has been a lot more confident and cocky than I remember him being ever before and it... worries me, I guess. I don't know. It just feels weird having him examining my undergarments and winking at me. He is usually quieter and more shy than this.

"Calum's mum is just finishing her makeup so they will be down in a second. Calum is still in the shower, though," Ashton sighs, his eyes focused on Luke. He is trying to avoid looking at me and I wonder why that is the case. It's probably because he has Luke's full attention now and he doesn't want him to suspect anything. And probably because we still hate each other, or at least that's what everyone thinks.

"You've got to be kidding me," Luke rolls his eyes and slides his phone into the pocket of his jeans. "We should be leaving in five minutes."

Ashton nods and sits down on the armrest of Luke's chair. The younger guy looks up at him and shakes his head slightly, before relaxing in the seat, crossing his arms over his chest and closing his eyes.

Upon noticing this, Ashton glances at me and mouths, "You look hot."

Maybe I should've worn those damn tights after all. I feel exposed as Ashton's hazel eyes take in my appearance. He isn't even hiding the fact that he is checking me out, his tongue sliding over his bottom lip as he looks at me.

I need to have a serious talk with him when I get the opportunity.

I send Ashton a quizzical look. He shrugs his shoulders and glances down at Luke again. He still has his eyes closed and I wonder if he plans on opening them any time soon. Calum is still not here, and neither is Michael so I begin to drum my fingers against the armrest in hopes of distracting myself from the way Ashton's eyes are still focused on me.

I really do have to talk to him about this entire situation, and I have to talk to him as soon as possible. I make a mental note to myself that I have to pay a visit to his room tomorrow morning before Laura gets here. Once she does, all possibilities of talking to Ashton without her popping out of nowhere in the middle of a sentence, will vanish.