Marked

Twenty-Five

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Then my brother died.

And everything was just so normal right before I found out. It was like any other day.

Sitting with Parker in my room, watching Youtube on his phone as I leaned against him. Making stupid comments about how dumb the people in the video were.

My dad walked into the room, and I could tell something was wrong the second that he walked in. He was not my normal dad.

"Something happened," He said, shutting the door behind him.

I felt some of the color lose my face as my mind rapidly tried to think of what possibly could have happened, what could get this type of reaction out of my dad. Every worst scenario was running through my mind, each one worse than the last.

"There was an accident. Sammy..." He paused, and it looked like he was fighting back tears. "Sammy died," He said.

I felt my heart stop, and I felt Parker grab my hand and squeeze it, but I wasn't really there. My brother was dead.

"No," It took me a while to realize that I was the one to say it.

He couldn't be dead. He was so young. He was at school, or he was supposed to be, at least. He was smart. He wanted to be a lawyer. He just couldn't be dead. It had to be some kind of sick joke that my dad was playing on me. Testing me to see if I still cared about him. My brother wasn't dead.

"He... your mom was driving him to school. She accidentally ran a stop sign," My dad said. His words felt like they were coming from a radio like they weren't being said right in front of me.
"Of course it's her fault," I mumbled. "She really ruins everything, doesn't she? Does she have some kind of death wish for all of us?"

"It was an accident, Seb," Parker this time.

"Maybe that's her whole goal. Didn't she do something to Elliot? Then to me, and now she finally did it and killed him," I had no idea what I was saying, the words flowing out of my mouth without a single thought. "Or maybe she really wants us to know who the favorite is,"

"Sebastion. Calm down," My dad said.

"Are you pranking me? That's a real jerk move. Everyone's such a jerk to me," I said, barely feeling Parker pull me closer to him.

"I wish I was," My dad said. "I... I need to go and talk to your mother,"

He didn't ask me if I wanted to go and see her too. Probably was for the best. I didn't want to see her anyway. I would've blown up at her if I had to see her.

"I'm here," Parker said quietly, his hold around me feeling safe, even though I didn't feel like I was even there.

"He was so young..." I said quietly.

"I know he was," Parker said. "I... I don't know what to say to help you feel better,"

I didn't even know what would help me feel better. I had never lost someone super close to me. My grandparents were still around. And my mom was still alive, even though sometimes it felt like she was dead.

"Just... be you," I said into his chest.

He didn't say anything after that, and that's when I let the tears go.

I hadn't even seen him in so long. The last image he had of me was me crying as I ran out of the house after my mom kicked me out. Hearing about me almost dying. Seeing me across the store that one day before he was rushed out by my mom. And God, he didn't deserve to die. He was just on his way to school. He loved school. But now he was dead.

Dead.

It was such a weird concept. One second, someone was fine. And the next, they just... weren't.

Maybe if he was older. Maybe I wouldn't hate every fiber of myself.

I used to take him to school every morning. What if my mom had never seen me and Parker? Then I would've been driving him to school and I would have never run that stop sign. He would probably still be alive.

But no. That's not how the events played out.

I pulled away from Parker and stood up without thinking things through. I went to the living room. Was met with the oh so lovely sound of yelling.

"Sebastion," My mom said. She seemed so different from that day at Taco Bell. She held her arms out as if wanting a hug from me.

"Really?" I asked. My voice sounded so flat, it hardly sounded like me anymore. "You're really going to think I'm going to hug you?"

"Seb... you're my son," She said.

I chuckled. "Funny. 'He's not my fucking kid, James!'" I said with a horrible impression of her voice.

"I... I was confused and upset," She said.

Why the fuck did she think that trying to defend her actions was going to make me forgive her? As if I ever would. Her youngest was dead so she probably just wanted someone so she wasn't alone at her house.

"And that makes kicking your son out okay?" I asked him, leaning against the wall, not fully walking into the room.

"You were dating a boy!" She yelled. "How was I supposed to deal with that?"

"Update. Still am. And how are you supposed to deal with it? I was confused too," I said.

"Guys. Stop fighting. This isn't the right day for it," My dad said, and I fell silent as I realized that what he was saying was true.

I shook my head as I shot one last glare at my mom. "If you need me, come and get me," I said, turning on my heel and going back to my room. Back to Parker.

"Who wants my life to be some sort of hell?" I asked nobody as I sat on the edge of my bed.