As Long As I Live

Worst Nightmare

Dedicated to cool16yeahimtoo, ria_borde and bubliyadav

Your comments made my day!
Here's another chapter, especially for u guys.. Enjoy.

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"I think she wanted to die!"

No. It couldn't be.

"She wanted to be hit!"

No. Stop. He ordered his brain to shut up.

"She wanted to die!"

"No!" Aamir shouted, springing off his bed in frustration holding his throbbing head in his hand. This was not a time to be nursing a headache. This was not a time to be having a war with his mind either. His bedside clock told him that it was three AM. Three hours till Mayra's surgery. Three more hours to stop the madness.

But he knew he couldn't stop it. Arriving at the decision had been hard enough. It had taken several hours of anger, frustration, second-opinions from many other neurosurgeons, rounds and rounds of coffee, tears and words of hope for Aamir to agree that he had to make this choice, or rather accept the fact that he had no choice but to accept this option. He had consented to the surgery last night and since then his heart was beating rapidly in his chest and his mind kept repeating the truck driver's words to him over and over again.

He got up and walked over to the closed doors of his balcony and opened them. Cool breeze brushed his face as he stepped out in the open. This was Mayra's favourite spot in the entire house. He would often find her here, reading, praying, doing some daily work or just sitting here staring into space, her cup of tea long forgotten.

He sat down and closed his eyes. He wanted to think of those few moments when Mayra had been happy. There had been very few of them but they were there and he remembered them vividly for her dazzling smile was not easy to forget.

The first time had been two days after their wedding. The entire family had gathered in the living room and Mayra was bringing afternoon tea for them. He remembered how disgusted he had been at the sight of her, how his heart had cursed her for being the shallow, cold hearted and loose-charactered woman that he thought she was for being involved with Jaffar. Gently she placed the tray at the table and made tea for everyone and served with biscuits. Faiza and her elder sister Fariha had been there. Fariha's two year old daughter, Amina, had grabbed a biscuit and perched herself on Mayra's lap, much to everyone's surprise. Then Mayra and Amina had dipped biscuits in their shared cup of tea and Amina ate them, smudging the moist biscuit on her face. Mayra had laughed then. For the first time Aamir had seen her laugh as she she cleaned Amina's face with a tissue. He was mesmerised as her entire face changed from gloomy to something so beautiful and captivating. A beautiful married woman, with a child in her arms, his heart longed to see her holding their own child someday. He was gawking at her openly and when his sister Zara jokingly commented that he was acting love struck, he slammed the cup down and left the room leaving everyone confused and Mayra scared.

The second time was when he had just returned from office and walked past his parents room when he heard her laughing argument with his father.

"You must drink this Papa!"

"Mayra, I'm not a child, beta! Why should I drink milk? It's disgusting!"

Mayra had laughed at her father-in-law's childish attempt to persuade her and replied, "because you need calcium. Mum told me. Drink it up Papa, and the whole glass. Come on. Come on!"

Aamir had watched amazed as his father did as he was told when all of their efforts to get him to drink his milk had been a waste.

Finishing his glass, his father made a sick face and commented, "Yup, absolutely disgusting!"