Nerdy joke book

Chemistry jokes

Q: Why can't you trust atoms?
A: Because they make up everything.

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite...
He said NaBrO

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."

Q: What did the curator say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his museum?
A: OH SNaP!

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends argon

Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!

Q: What do you do with a dead chemists?
A: barium

Q: What's wrong with a joke involving Cobalt, Radon, and Ytterium?
A: its CoRn Y

A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of sodas. As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes. The waiter replies, "For you, No Charge!"

John wrote an article in the school paper about how this chemical, dihydrogenoxide, has killed over 100,000 people world wide, usually through inhalation. The story also went on that even if you wash your food you can never get this chemical off. No matter what you do you will be exposed to this very dangerous chemical every day of your life until you die. The story finished by claiming that there needs to be a government research group founded to find a solution. yada yada yada. The local newspaper reporter read this story in his daughters school paper and decided to do a follow up. The deaths that he was quoting were from drownings. Anyhow, this reporter ran the article in a paper and started a local push for a government study before they realized what the story was about. If you haven't figured it out di-hydrogen-oxide is the correct name for H2O or water. The deaths that he was quoting were from drownings.