Nerdy joke book

Math jokes

Q: Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?
A: To get to the same side

Q: Why is a math book always unhappy?
A: Because it always has lots of problems.

Q: What do you call friends who love math?
A: algebros

Q: What do you call a number that can't keep still?
A: a roamin' numeral

Q: what do -68 and fake Christmas trees have in common
A: Neither has real roots

Q: How do you know when you've reached your Math Professors voice-mail?
A: The message is "The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please, rotate your phone by 90 degrees and try again..."

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi

There are 10 types of mathematicians. Those who know binary and those who don't.

A mathematician and an engineer are on desert island. They find two palm trees with one coconut each. The engineer climbs up one tree, gets the coconut, eats. The mathematician climbs up the other tree, gets the coconut, climbs the other tree and puts it there. "Now we've reduced it to a problem we know how to solve."

Several scientists were all posed the following question: "What is pi ?"
The engineer said: "It is approximately 3 and 1/7"
The physicist said: "It is 3.14159"
The mathematician thought a bit, and replied "It is equal to pi".
The nutritionist said:"Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!"
Me: 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.
"Aha," says the engineer, "I see that Scottish sheep are black."
"Hmm," says the physicist, "You mean that some Scottish sheep are black."
"No," says the mathematician, "All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!"

A mathematician and a physicist agree to a psychological experiment. The (hungry) mathematician is put in a chair in a large empty room and his favorite meal, perfectly prepared, is placed at the other end of the room. The psychologist explains, "You are to remain in your chair. Every minute, I will move your chair to a position halfway between its current location and the meal." The mathematician looks at the psychologist in disgust. "What? I'm not going to go through this. You know I'll never reach the food!" And he gets up and storms out.
The psychologist ushers the physicist in. He explains the situation, and the physicist's eyes light up and he starts drooling. The psychologist is a bit confused. "Don't you realize that you'll never reach the food?" T he physicist smiles and replies: "Of course! But I'll get close enough for all practical purposes!"