Nerdy joke book

Is the glass half full or half empty

An optimist says it's half full

A pessimist says it's half empty

A realist measures it to find that it is half of its full potential.

However a scientist knows that by measuring it you have changed the outcome of the expirement.

The physicist says that the glass is not empty at all - it is half-filled with water and half-filled with air - hence, fully filled on the whole!

The engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

And the cynic... wonders who drank the other half.

The consultant says let's examine the question, prepare a strategy for an answer, and all for a daily rate of...

The entrepreneur sees the glass as undervalued by half its potential.

The computer programmer says the glass is full-empty.

The scientist says a guess based on a visual cue is inaccurate, so mark the glass at the bottom of the meniscus of the content, pour the content into a bigger glass; fill the empty glass with fresh content up to the mark; add the original content back in; if the combined content overflows the lip, the glass was more than half full; if it doesn't reach the top, the glass was more than half empty; if it neither overflows nor fails to reach the top then it was either half-full or half-empty. Now what was the question again?

The adolescent student says the glass is just another dirty trick played by the teacher to prove that students are dumb.

The opportunist says, "Thanks, folks! While you were debating it, I drank it."