Chances - Larry Stylinson

Part VII

“Lou, can we talk?” Harry asked later that night, when he and Louis were tucked safely under his covers.

“Yeah, sure.” Louis turned to face Harry, their faces just centimeters apart, and their arms were draped around the other’s body. With Louis so close to him, Harry seemed to just falter. He didn’t know how to say what he was going to say, because he felt like Louis could see all the emotions and expressions on his face. Harry never was very good at hiding his feelings.

“When are you going back?” Harry whispered, his voice slightly trembling. He didn’t really want to talk about that right now, because they were having such a great time together, and Harry really would like to believe that their time could last forever.

“I don’t know,” Louis admitted, “in a few days probably.” Harry couldn’t find anything to say to that, so he just nodded and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Harry? Are you alright?” Of course Louis knew that Harry wasn’t okay.

“No,” Harry replied honestly, opening his eyes. “Can you not go? Please?” He pleaded softly. He really didn’t want Louis to go, not again. Harry wasn’t going to be able to deal with splitting from Louis again, especially not when they were going out now.

And Louis felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. “Harr-“

“But what’s going to happen to us when you go? We can’t just meet once a year during Christmas and expect nothing to change. I really don’t want you to-“

“Harry, shh, listen to me, okay?” Louis comforted as he rubbed circles into Harry’s back. “Nothing’s going to change between us, because we’re going to talk on the phone every day. I’m not even going to care how much my phone bill costs. We’re going to talk every minute of every day, and I’m going to visit whenever I can. You won’t even be able to get rid of me when I’m here.” Louis meant what he said, because he honestly couldn’t bear to leave Harry like that; he didn’t think he was going to be able to live without Harry.

His words seemed to help soothe Harry a little. “Really?” Harry asked quietly, his eyes all green and white. “Really,” Louis confirmed.

“Not even when your phone bill costs you like a thousand dollars?”

“Well, I’ll just go get a job for… What did I major in again? Whatever, yeah, I’ll go get a job and then I’ll spend all my paychecks paying for my phone bill and live off my mother’s food,” Louis grinned, and he earned himself a little chuckle from Harry.

“I love you, boo,” Harry smiled. He really did love Louis, with his entire being.

“Me too, Harry. Good night.” Louis reached for Harry’s hand and squeezed it, as if reassuring Harry that he wasn’t lying one bit. And then Louis shut his eyes, his lips curving into a contented smile.

But Harry couldn’t sleep; there was just so much on his mind. Even if Louis’ words made him feel better, somehow it still wasn’t enough. Louis was still going back, and they wouldn’t be able to see each other every day. Harry wasn’t going to be able to bring Louis around boring London; they weren’t going to be able to cuddle or eat together or watch X Factor UK on the TV together. Harry was going to be alone.

All he wanted was to be able to wake up to a warm body by his side; to wake up to Louis by his side. Was that too much to ask for? Harry would really give anything just to keep Louis here forever, but there really was nothing he could do.

Then Harry thought of Anne’s words. You know I wouldn’t mind at all, as long as you’re happy.
Even if his mother didn’t mind, he’d still feel guilty. He couldn’t just leave his family here like that, could he? He’d feel so horrible, because they’d been the ones by his side his whole life. To leave them for his boyfriend seemed really shallow and ungrateful. After all, he was definitely going to miss them, and they’d definitely miss him too.

But yet, Harry still really wanted to go. His mother had offered, so he thought that maybe she really didn’t mind. He honestly couldn’t imagine what his days would be like without Louis. He and Louis had been so close for such a long time now it actually hurt to be apart from the other. It was like their lives were just entwined together and kept there with a solid padlock that no one would ever be able to unlock. Harry had never loved someone so much before, not till the extent where he thought he was going to die without that person. But then again, Louis was Harry’s first love.

And as he thought and thought about his mother’s words, he tried to make a decision, but he just couldn’t. Sighing softly to himself, he took a look at Louis’ sleeping form.

So that was how Louis looked when he was asleep, Harry thought. And he decided all he really wanted was just to wake up to that every single day of his life.

~*~
“Bye mum, I’m taking Louis to the airport now!” Harry called out as he put on his coat and shoes.

“Bye Mrs. Styles, thank you so much for letting me live here,” Louis said, as he walked into the kitchen where Anne was. She extended her arms for a hug and without hesitation Louis complied. Hugs with Anne were always amazing, as he remembered from his childhood. She’d always been a second mother to him, and he was honestly really grateful to her for letting him stay at their home this time.

“Thank you for making Harry happy,” she said, and Louis suddenly felt a pang of guilt stab him in his heart as he pulled away from the embrace. He made Harry happy, and Harry made him happy too, but now he was leaving, and it’d no doubt hurt Harry more than it hurt him. The curly-haired boy had always been very sentimental and sensitive.

Anne seemed to be able to understand what Louis was thinking about. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep him happy. You’ll be back anyway, won’t you?” She reassured, smiling, and Louis nodded. He most definitely was going to be back to visit Harry again, and hopefully, he’d be back for good next time.

With that, Louis and Harry were off to the airport in Harry’s car.

“I think she loves you more than she loves me sometimes, and she’s not even your mother!” Harry cried dramatically, feigning hurt.

“Of course she does, look at me! I’m all loveable and nice! Why would anyone like you more than me?” Louis smirked.

“But you like me.”

“Well, yeah, that’s because you charmed me with your luscious curls and gorgeous green eyes and dimples and your ten-times-slower-than-average speaking, so that doesn’t really count.”

“Hey! I do not talk ten times slower than average! I can rap that bit in ‘Baby’!”

“Oh wow Harold, you are such a rebel!” Louis laughed, crinkles all showing at the corners of his eyes.

Harry rolled his eyes. Louis and his damn sarcasm and perfection and crinkly smile, he thought. Harry was really going to miss all their banter and jokes and teasing. Even if Louis always “bullied” him like that, Harry knew that under all that was just a very protective and loving side of him. That was just how Louis showed concern, perhaps.

The both of them definitely didn’t have a relationship like others, because theirs was one of a kind. It was just a more comfortable and fun sort. Harry liked that, because it was like a connection they had; one that no one could ever understand or break, not even being ten thousand miles away. It was theirs, and it was strong.

“Why are you smiling to yourself?” Louis asked, poking at Harry’s dimple with his index finger. “Nothing,” Harry replied, “just thinking about how nice these nine days were,” Harry turned to look at Louis, who yelped suddenly.

“Keep your eyes on the road! I don’t want to die!” Louis cried.

“Well I would if you kept your fingers to yourself!” Harry huffed indignantly.

“Well I would if you didn’t have dimples!”

“But I was born with them! I can’t take them away! It’s not my fault you can’t resist me!” Harry argued.