To My Heart

Chapter 17~ Time

Fanaa's POV.

Time.

It doesn't stop.

No matter what you try to do to stop it or make it go back, it doesn't.

It keeps going on and you gotta go on as well.

You have to accept it even if you don't feel like it's your time yet you still have to go on.

Ahmed and I restarted smiling.

We took our lives in our hands and held it tight.

Making every moment count.

After what happened, I almost lost the taste of life.

I was scared and I didn't dare do anything again.

I didn't want Ahmed to go out for so long.

I want it him by my side all the time, I thought that if I didn't care he'll disappear or something like that.

But eventually I couldn't stay like that for too long.

Accepting what happened and living with a truth and hope, I chose that.

Choosing Allah's plan and keep living.

I'm still looking for a job here.

I didn't seriously invest in my searching and that's why now I plan on fully giving my time on it.

Ahmed goes to work like usual every day and comes back around 8pm.

On the weekends he doesn't work so we spend the whole day together.

I'm here for him and he's here for me.

He has always been.

He always makes me feel special and deserving.

Everyday I end up asking myself, how did I end up with this man that I love so much?

Today's a rainy day.

I used to hate rainy days.

I felt depressed and sad.

I felt like going out in the rain and let my tears flow so that no one could be able to see if I was actually crying.

A rainy day meant a sad day for me.

And for some reason I was always too emotional on those days.

But now, it has changed.

Time has changed.

I love the rain now.

I want to go out and feel the raindrops on me.

I want to pray and relieve my heart to Allah only.

I wanna dance in the rain and kiss in the rain.

I wanna feel it.

I wanna live it.

There's more to the rain then you can think.

I was on the second floor of the house, outside on the large balcony.

I was letting the rain touch me and dance with me.

As if no one was around, I was letting myself go.

This house is placed really far away from my parents place.

There's mostly trees around.

We don't even have neighbors.

I let myself go outside on the balcony without my hijab sometimes, like today.

I'm supposed to be working on my book and searching for a job but here I am outside in the rain.