Dead Beat Dates & Deities - Goddess of Tornado Alley Series Book One

Chapter Two

"Try not to move," the paramedic instructed. Frank ignored him and reached down into the water to pry something hard from beneath her backside.

"A quarter," she mumbled as she felt the round smoothness of the coin. It fell from her fingers when the medic and his partner lifted her to the lip of the fountain and stretched her out onto a long, hard board.

Frank heard noise all around her. The few seconds of tranquility she'd experienced earlier was gone like a puff of smoke. Everything seemed loud now as a curious gang of lingerie shoppers gathered around the scene of Frank's dramatic arrival into the back room. Their voices were a quiet hum as several of them filmed the debacle with their smartphones.

"Did I black out?" Frank wondered quietly.

"No. You almost drowned but you didn't black out."

"Excuse me?" Frank said, her voice louder.

"Yes, miss?"

"What did you just say?"

The paramedic was busy, and Frank could only follow him with her eyes. The thick neck brace he was securing beneath her chin hindered her ability to turn her head.

"I said you couldn't hear anything because your head was under the water."

Frank's hazel eyes darted all around trying to put a face to the voice she'd heard. It certainly hadn't come from the paramedic. Her head had been underwater? What? Where was she? What was going on?

"There's blood on my shell and you chipped it as well. Your head must be made of granite." Frank wasn't sure but it sounded like she could hear a tsking sound. "That is going to leave a scar. On both my shell as well as your head I'm afraid, and you've no one to blame for it but yourself. You look like a giraffe walking on sticks in those ridiculous shoes."

"Sticks?" Frank asked. "Giraffes don't walk on sticks."

"Those long poles," the voice told her, even more irritation coloring the words. "You see them at the, what is it called? Circus? Yes, circus. The fat men in makeup and big shoes hobble around on them."

"Fat men in makeup? What?"

"Miss? Try to relax. Take some deep breaths. We'll be moving here shortly."

Frank blinked her eyes and realized that the right one stung and her vision was blurred. Damn. She'd just put a fresh pair of contacts in that morning. She tried to reach up to brush the hair from her face, but her wrist was tied down and her arm was snug at her side. She felt a wave of panic begin to swell in the pit of her stomach.

"Clowns I think they are. Round and ridiculous. A lot like Dionysus come to think of it. Quite popular like him as well, but only with the children. Dionysus is not so good with children. I should know."

"Clowns? Children?"

Frank seemed to be hovering in mid-air and she felt the heat of bodies as they surrounded her. To her right was the sound of water like a whirlpool bath and she felt as though she was in a cave. She couldn't move and something was squeezing her head, the tightness intensifying as one of the medics flashed a beam of light into her eye.

"Dilated. Miss? Do you know where you are?"

"Who, me?" Frank asked.

"Yes. Gather those belongings. Is that her purse? There's a phone. Excuse us, please. Make some room, folks."

The flurry of activity moving around Frank's head was making her sick to her stomach. It was a little like when she'd ridden the 'Big Oh' roller coaster at Brown Bear Fun Park last summer with Ella. She'd come dangerously close to throwing up after disembarking that death car on wheels. The ride sure as hell hadn't been anything like any big O she'd ever experienced. Yes, she felt much as she had back then. Perhaps a little less disappointed but nauseated as hell. Deep breaths, she told herself. Don't hurl. Whatever you do, don't hurl.

"Are you Frances Reed?"

"Say what?"

"Is your name Frances June Reed?"

"Oh, yeah," Frank told him forcing herself to breathe. "That's me."

"Dear goddess. Even your name makes me shudder."

"I'm sorry ..."

"Don't be sorry," the paramedic told her in a different voice than the one that had berated her for her less than creative moniker. Too deep. Too masculine. Damn. What was going on? "Excuse us," the paramedic said again to the group of bystanders. "Everybody move out. We ready? Okay, let's go."

The pair of men, one at her head and the other at her feet, set the gurney in motion, its four small wheels protesting against the wet carpet below. The movement sent Frank's stomach lurching again. She felt the acrid bite of vomit touch the back of her throat.

"You'll have to come back to get your shoe," she heard. It was definitely a woman's voice. Frank's eyes moved around wildly in her head to find out who was speaking. Ouch. Too much. Way too much. "It's obviously ruined now," the voice said. "Water is disastrous on leather. Not really much of a loss though if you ask me."

"Who is that?" Frank asked looking up to see the underside of the paramedic's throat and chin. He might have been handsome. He certainly seemed nice enough, but from Frank's perspective, the man's nostrils appeared to be far too wide and lined with too much dark hair. She could feel something else pressing hard into her butt, but she couldn't shift to move it. It was probably the edge of sanity, she decided. At the moment it seemed to be biting her squarely on the ass.

"I'll see you again when you come back for it."

"Come back for what?"

"The shoe of course."

The paramedics pushed through the crowd that had gathered. They swung the gurney around and Frank could clearly see the statue standing in the fountain. What wasn't as clear was the expression she thought she saw on the deity's face. Frank squinted hard and tried to focus. She was almost sure that the goddess was shaking her head, her full lips drawn to one side in a tight smirk of distaste.

"Goddess knows what I'm going to do with you, but it's apparent that something needs to be done. Just look at you. If I didn't know better, I'd guess you were a Crinaeae living in my fountain."

"No way," Frank breathed, her taco and enchilada combo plate now in a frantic hurry to make a second less appetizing appearance.

"I've never cared much for those water nymphs. At least I know you only resemble one." She sighed. "It was inevitable I suppose, you coming to me for help. Now, I've always been a huge fan of being the center of attention, but you," the goddess laughed and it sounded almost musical. Or maybe that was just the ringing in Frank's battered head. It was difficult for her to tell. "You are absolutely center stage, my dear," Aphrodite said swinging her alabaster arms out as if to encompass the entire store and everyone in it.

"Well, it's finally happened," Frank declared. "I've gone and lost my mind." The second margarita, or had it been the third? Frank couldn't really recall now how many she'd consumed. They'd been big ones, and the tequila was now furiously churning around in her stomach and clouding her head. She silently vowed never to eat Mexican food again. Okay, maybe not never, she amended, but it would definitely be a long time before she engaged in another chips and salsa feeding frenzy. Ugh. Chips and salsa. The thought brought up a foul-tasting belch and Frank clenched her jaws shut while her eyes watered.

"See you soon." The statue wiggled her long, white fingers in farewell as the paramedics wheeled the gurney into the main part of the mall. The last thing Frank saw before her dinner pushed past her molars was Ben Ramsey. His eyes were rheumy and red from the numerous beers he'd chugged during their meal, and his tongue was hanging out of his mouth in mid-lick. He held a swirled cone with a curlicue on the top, the base sodden with melted ice cream. Maybe he hadn't left his wallet at home after all.

"Hey," he yelled after her waving his free hand. "I had fun tonight. We'll have to do it again sometime."

And that was when Frank lost the perilous balance she'd been maintaining there on the edge and her tail end slid clean off.

♥End of Chapter Two - Download Dead Beat Dates & Deities on Amazon.com♥