The One and Only Alec | bxb

8: Clouded Thoughts

*Alec*

Thursday came and went in a haze. I couldn't pay attention to any of my classes. My brain wouldn't shut up about Jake, which was extremely annoying. I have surprisingly decent grades and I try my best in most classes but I could barely write my name on the papers before drifting off to yesterday afternoon.

I stayed up on the bridge for the rest of Jake's practice. The lights were mesmerizing and I couldn't seem to get myself to stand. I did go back down eventually, of course. I mindlessly chatted with Jake and Vivian until they left and nothing had been able to hold my attention since.

I contemplated texting him once I drove home. I held back, though. I'm not sure why.

Dan is sitting across the room from me. He's still majorly pissed at me for skipping practice. I want to quit, I really do, but my mom is a pain in the ass about making something of myself, and Lily thoroughly agrees with her. They somehow decided I was going to be a national sports star with my name written in the American football hall of fame without asking for my consent.

I can't blame them. I never outwardly complain and I never will. There isn't really anything that interests me aside from tits and abs, so football is sort of my only option.

God, now I'm thinking about him again. I don't know how he has muscles considering the only extracurricular activity he takes part in (to the best of my knowledge) is musical theater, but I'm not complaining. He isn't bulky, but he's got a damn nice abdomen with calves that you only see in guys who play soccer.

I bite the inside of my cheek, trying to distract myself. I need to stop obsessing.

I pick my pencil back up and glance around, trying to figure out what I'm meant to be doing. Dan is glaring at me out of the corner of his eye. Maybe I should apologize for slamming him into the lockers. That takes a lot of effort, though. Effort that I currently lack.

The girl next to me has a sheet of problems that she's filling out. I've no clue where she got it and I don't have one.

After ten more minutes of tapping my pencil, the bell finally rings.

I think Dan tried to stop me in the hallway but I brushed him off, making my way to the cafeteria. Usually, I'll sit with the rest of the team but yesterday I sat with Jake and Vivian against the wall so that's where I head as soon as the scent of awful food hits me.

Vivian nods to me, presumably expecting that I'll be joining them again. Jake doesn't notice until I throw my bag down beside him. It makes him jump.

He looks up at me, smiling at once. His eyes glint in the lights.

I slide down the wall beside him. "Hey," he says, turning his body towards me the slightest bit. His knee is pressed against mine, his worn-out jeans torn from whatever it is he does in his free time. Mine came pre-ripped. Maybe he mountain bikes? That seems like something he'd be into. Skateboarding? It'd go with his hoodie-and-slip-on-vans aesthetic.

"Howdy," I say after a moment too long.

"Howdy?" he mimics, to which I shrug. He looks back to Vivian, keeping his leg against mine, continuing their conversation.

I ignore them completely. Apparently having Jake right beside me isn't going to snap me back to reality. I stare at his knee, mind wandering. I thought of yesterday once again, his breath against my lips, eyes closed. So close. I've got to try again. Kissing him, I mean. And I won't let some drama teacher interrupt.

My stare wanders from his leg to his face. All sharp angles and smooth skin. Those green-gold irises that look like a dark forest with stars falling from the sky. What animals live within the forest? I can hardly guess. I barely know Jake. Yes, I know his favorite song and that he has a cat called Mushroom. However, I don't know what books he has in his bedroom. I don't know his tell for lying, his nervous ticks, or the precise way to get his jaw to click from annoyance or perhaps anger. I'm unsure if he's somebody who gets angry at all.