Alone in the Dark

A Lady's Journal

I have not felt much like writing lately as my curiosity has dried up with all the pain and darkness that seems to have fallen upon my friends. I continue with my job with the orphanages and meal houses but mostly unaided by Lyana, who struggles with her own battles.

I am not seeking to expand my proposals anymore, only maintain where we were going when all this trouble began. My enthusiasm has gone the way of my curiosity as I sit, watching the lives of my new friends fall apart, knowing that this is also happening to my closest friends who are both far beyond my reach.

The Queen-mother of Sellexu, Victoria, keeps me focused on my tasks when I need her guidance, reminding us that the world cannot stop for our grief, even in the darkest hours. In a nation where women are viewed as weak, her strength and wisdom are a hidden gem.

I begin to suspect that she was the one who truly raised Caelur to be the man he is.

However, one thing she helped me understand is the court of Sellexu and its codified rules, laws and codes. Nowhere in these rules does it prevent a woman from speaking up as part of the court, which surprised me when I learned it. They can even hold positions of honour; it has just been their cultural acceptance that men are meant for these positions that women are too delicate for.

Other rules include the fact that when a trial is taking place, any part of the court, even outsiders (so long as they have been accepted into the court as guests and allies) can speak up and provide evidence, argument or support for either side.

Trial by combat is allowed, and physical tests can be used in the place of evidence and royal judgement. Though they do not go so far as labelling it as the will of the Gods, they are very much dedicated to the fact that a righteous side will prevail in a contest of arms. I wonder if this is why women are seen as too delicate for this work, because they are often assumed to be weaker in combat. Or perhaps these rules were created to keep women out of such things, by limiting how involved they can get in the running of the country.

The country of Cavatine has advised that it will accept a ruling on the trial of its courtier in her charges of poisoning a High Lord. They ask for any sentence commuted to their authority to carry out but otherwise do not stand in the way of the trial. Emeltra has so far refused to cooperate, and only maintains that Shiar will die unless the court frees her and allows her to remain with him.

I was with her when Lyana spoke with her, and the woman has no appreciation for the danger she faces in the Sellexun Court. She believes that our sentimentality towards Shiar will allow her to walk free of this, that she holds all the cards.

There is no thought in her plans that she will be held accountable for what she had done to Shiar.

Lyana hasn't been able to get anywhere with her brother's care, she merely prevents his body from failing, so he is caught in a permanent status of suffering and pain. None of the other healers can make any headway, and they've all bowed to her skills, if only because he is surviving under her care when they expected him to die long before now. Where they once were dismissive of the fact that she was a woman and wary of innate magical ability, the healers and even most of the court, are starting to appreciate Lyana and her strengths.

I can see how torn she is about this knowing that perhaps the only release for Shiar may be death. He her for it frequently and I see it breaking her heart every time he murmurs those words

I wish I had Nerini's contacts with Assassins, though even those here in Sellexu, walking in their grey cloaks and armor, have been unable to provide any idea of what the poison is that has been used on Shiar.

Caelur seems lost and is a dark force as he moves about his duties.

He maintains his kingdom and then retires to his rooms, or watches over his friend. I know he is angry, and part of him craves to merely kill the woman he will be holding a trial for. I don't know if it is his duty as a king or hope for a possible cure that saves her life, but I can see that storm in his eyes and know that he is tempted to give vent to his emotions and fury. 
 I fear that she will have the ability to affect any other man with whatever she did to Shiar, most of the court does. I will attend, though the women of Sellexu have agreed to form a guard around the woman, to protect the men of their country.

For all I tell Lyana that we are needed to use our strengths and talents and be the heroes of this story, I find myself wishing Nerini was here. I know what she would do tomorrow if she were and I can only hope to channel her as a force for our friends, through myself.

Lady Wyn