Part of me H.S.

Wide awake

It's been two weeks since I wrote I hate you I love you. Two weeks and things are a little better. Not much but a little. Today I'm back in the studio to record the vocals for I hate you I love you, and to write more songs, my manager was happy that I had writing a song but she wanted me to get back in the studio and write some more. Emily has been with me since I started in the music industry and I love her like family. She is my family, my parents passed away 3 years ago in a accident. I miss them every day and going through this break up without them is terrifying. Emily loves me like her daughter and is pushing me back into the studio because she knows it helps take my mind off of everything else and just focus on what I love the most, music.
      I had thought of some lyrics so I was going to start with those after I sang I hate you I love you.
20 minutes later
I finished with the vocals of I hate you I love you and walked out of the booth. I sat on the piano bench and got to work. Started with what I have already written. I'm going to call it wide awake. I woke up from his lies and illusion. " I'm wide awake...I'm wide awake....I'm wide awake.. yeah I was in the dark I was falling hard, with and open heart" I think about how wrong I had been about him and how he had lied for half of our relationship " I'm wide awake.. how did I read the stars so wrong" I wish I had know when I had met him that he'd become someone I didn't know. I wish I had known who he was from the beginning. " I'm wide awake.. and now it's clear to me that everything you see, ain't always what it seems, I'm wide awake, yeah I was dreaming for so long"  I just can't stoping thinking I wish I had known " I wish I knew then, what I know now, wouldn't dive in, wouldn't bow down.. gravity hurt and you were so sweet" I build it into the chorus " till I woke up, on, on the concrete" now the chorus " falling from cloud nine, crashing from the high, I'm letting go tonight, I'm falling from cloud nine" being with him had been a high but I need to let go, I need to move on. " I'm wide awake, not losing any sleep, picked up every piece and landed on my feet" it's true.. since those first twos days I've slept better and I'm started picking up the pieces. Music is like a medicine for me. Putting it out helps a lot. " I'm wide awake need nothing to complete myself, yeah, I am born again, out of the lions den, I don't have to pretend, and it's to late, the story's over now, the end" I think about yesterday and the fact that he had the nerve to text me at all. Asking me to get back together with him.. the worst part is that his reasoning behind it wasn't to get me back but to have two chicks instead of one again. Screw him. " I wish I knew then, what I know now, wouldn't dive in, wouldn't bow down, gravity hurts and you were so sweet, till I woke up on, on the concrete" back to the chorus " falling from cloud nine, crashing from the high,  I'm letting go tonight, I'm falling from cloud nine" jumping immediately to the bridge " thunder rumbling, castles crumbling, (I'm wide awake), i am trying to hold on,(I'm wide awake) god knows that I tried, seeing the bright side(I'm wide awake) but I'm not blind anymore" no I'm not. I see past it all and I wish I had in the beginning " I'm wide awake,  I'm wide awake" going back into the chorus " yeah, I'm falling from cloud nine" adding in little background snippets "(yeah it was out of the blue)" " crashing from the high(yeah, I'm letting you go, I'm), I'm falling from cloud nine" fading it into my outro "I'm wide awake, I'm wide awake, I'm wide awake,I'm wide awake, I'm wide awake" wow I can't believe I just sat there and hashed that out so quickly. I mean yeah I did have half of it written but that felt amazing not only to sing but to write. This album is going to be a breakup anthem. It needs to be, the ups and downs of it. The raw feelings. Bad/good,sad/happy, moving on/breaking down. All of it. I walk over to the studio guy and ask if we can get this recorded right now, he says yes and I immediately go into the booth, I sing it with all emotions showing In my voice. I let it all out into the song just like I did with I hate you I love you. Just like I will with each song I write through my feelings. I decided that's enough for today and head home. I arrive to find my bestfriend dove Cameron sitting in my living room. I love her so much. She's been here for me a lot these past to weeks and has made it known that she'll be her everyday if I need it. We met each other 4 years ago when I first got signed by Columbia records.
" hey girl how was studio day?" She asks me as I take my shoes off. " it was good, I recorded I hate you I love you and wrote another. I even recorded that one as well. It's called wide awake" she lights up as I say all of this " you wrote another one!! Yay! Write him into oblivion. You deserve so so much better Ames,you know that right? You know it's not your fault right?" I think for a second.. "I know it's not my fault I just wish I had been enough for him." I say and she hugs me fast. As she's got her head on my shoulder she says " Ames, you are more then enough. Don't think like that. If anyone wasn't enough it was him. He wasn't man enough. He wasn't worth your time and you deserve someone who is" she makes me feel better and I'm so so glad I have her in my life. " I'm so glad I have you here with me with me dove , I can't Thank you enough for being there for me" I say with my arms still around her. She hugs me tighter and says. "I will always be here for you Ames, always" we spent the rest of the night eating takeout Chinese and watching scary movies.