Part of me H.S.

Shout out to my ex

It's been 3 weeks since that last writing session and I'm itching to get back into the studio. I haven't had the chance due to interview after interview.. all asking me about..him. I wish they would ask me about something else, anything else. I think about the studio,I don't have a time slot for today but I'm hoping when I get there there's an open one. I stop by Dunkin' and grab a coffee and doughnut and then I'm on my way. I'm excited to write more and get all of my feelings out there. The more time that goes by the more I realize what we had wasn't really love. If it had been he wouldn't have cheated, he wouldn't have found someone else while we were together.  Once I get to the studio I start searching rooms to find a empty one. Yes! Found one, I immediately sit down at the piano, my favorite to write songs with. I've been playing piano since I was 3 years old. It's another part of me. The past few weeks I've been scribbling lyrics here and there as I think some up. So far I've got ransoms like "this is a shout out to my ex, heard he in love with some other chick" and " shout out to my ex, you're really quite the man, you made my heart break and that made me who I am" that could be the chorus! I decide to pick up the guitar and strum chords on that. Make it a bit more pop sounding. " this is a shout out to my ex, heard he in love with some other chick,yeah yeah that hurt me I'll admit, forget that boy I'm over it" I wrote this one while I was waiting for another interview after having just had one about him. "I hope she gettin better sex, hope she ain't fakin it like I did, babe, took 2 long years to call it quits, forget that boy I'm over it"
(I know she says 4 but for the story it's 2)
" guess I should say Thankyou for the "hate yous" and the tattoos oh baby I'm cool by the way, ain't sure I loved you anyway, go ahead baby imma love my life yeah" I got so deep into playing this song that I'd hadn't realized someone had walked in the room. " oh my gosh you scared me!" I exclaim as I turn around. It's non other than Harry Styles. I've always been a fan of him as well as one direction. They've separated now but his first solo album was amazing. "Sorry it's just Um this is my studio room for the day.... I booked it" he says and I realize that I had taken his room. " I'm sorry! I was just itching to get into the studio and play out some of the songs I have written down." I say apologizing to him for stealing his time slot. He laughs and says " it's okay if you want to finish your song go ahead! From what I heard it sounds like it's going to be good!" I think about it for a second and decide that I'd rather ask his opinion on another song. " actually I was just wondering if maybe you've give an opinion on another song I'm writing?" I ask hoping he will say yes and help me out with this one. " yes! I'm always open to helping other writers work out kinks, only thing is that means you have to help me with one as well" he states with a cheeky smile. I think about it and decide that it would be nice to help someone else write as well. " okay that's a deal" I say and sit down beside him at the piano. " me first though" I say and begin with the chords I had chosen for selfish. " boy you're such a lost cause, now your name is crossed of, how you gonna fix this? You can't even fix yourself" I pause and then start up with the next part " it was almost 3 years that I chose to spend here, all alone on New Years, thinking what the hell" I stop and look at him " what do you think so far?" He looks thoughtful for a minute and then asks " is this about Manolo?" " yeah it is, this whole entire album I'm writing is, I'm making it my breakup anthem, I deserve to write my heart out to what he put me through" I say while keeping my eyes on the piano. " you have every right to do that. I would love to hear the rest of your song if you'll let me hear it" he says kindly. I start at where I left off in the music " I don't wanna break you, thread a needle, try to save you but I can't, I refuse" into the chorus " shouldn't love you but I couldn't help it,had a feeling that you never felt it. Always knew you were to damn selfish, don't know why I looked the other way" " I wanted you to change yeah,I shouldn't love you but I couldn't help it, I always knew that you were to damn selfish"I pause for a minute and play through it "I bet you thought you gave me real love, but we spent it all in night clubs, all you ever wanna do is lie, why you always such a Gemini" " baby who you trying to run from, me or all your problems, you know you will never solve em, you don't even know yourself" " I don't want to break you, thread a needle try to save you but I can't, I refuse" " I shouldn't love you but I Couldn't help it, had a feeling that you never felt it, always knew that you were to damn selfish, don't know why I looked the other way" "I wanted you to change,yeah, I shouldn't love you but I couldn't help it, I always knew that you were to damn selfish"i pause and then continued " but it's not possible, plus I'm not responsible, for your self made obstacles,put my heart in the hospital, woah,oh"I stop. I look at him and he's looking at me studying my expressions. " was it bad? Good?" I ask and I'm nervous to know his opinion.. when manolo and I were together, he criticized every single song I ever wrote. If I bought the song off of another writer,which was almost never because I like to write my own stuff, he would be fine with it or even love the song. Just not when it was mine. I just can't believe I was going to marry that man. " I think it's amazing, all of that emotion, it shows through the entire song. I do have one other opinion, I think you should add the chorus for another time at the end" he says and I think it's a great idea. It will add to the emotion of the song and keep it amped up until the very end. " Thankyou harry, now it's your turn isn't it" and he switch's places with me and starts a beautiful song " I'm in my bed, and your not here, and there's no one to blame but the drink in my wandering hand"he pauses " forget what I said, it's not what I meant" " and I can't take it back, I can't unpack the baggage you left" "what am I now, what am I now, what if I'm someone I don't want around,I'm falling again I'm falling again, I'm falling" "what if I'm down, what if I'm out, what if I'm someone you won't talk about" " I'm falling again I'm falling again, I'm fallin" " you said you cared and you kissed me too, and I'm well aware I write to many songs about you" he pauses playing the beautiful tune as he does " and the coffees out, at the beach wood cafe, and it kills me cause I know we've run out of things we can say" " what am I now, what am I now, what if I'm someone I don't want around, I'm falling again I'm falling again, I'm falling" " what if I'm down, what if I'm out, what if I'm someone you won't talk about, I'm falling again I'm falling again I'm falling" " and I get the feeling that you'll never need me again" he belts out, he voice is beautiful " what am I now, what am I now, what if your just someone I want around" " I'm falling again I'm falling again, I'm falling" " what if I'm down, what if I'm out, what if I'm someone you won't talk about, I'm falling again I'm falling again I'm falling" wow he is amazing. Absolutely amazing. " that was incredible harry! Wow! That he so much emotion I could physically feel it. You're an incredible singer and songwriter!" I state. We just sit there sharing thoughts and ideas with each other for a few minutes more. My phone starts ringing and it's Emily. Shit! I have another interview in 20 minutes I forgot! " I've got to go ! I forgot I have another interview today! Shit!" I tell Harry as I get up to get my stuff. I frantically start picking my stuff up and shoving it all into my purse. " shit and I walked here today, shit!" I start to walk out of the room and Harry says something " I can drive you" I turn around " really? You don't have to, I can run. It's not to far from here" he shakes his head and says " yeah I'm sure, just let me grab my song book and my keys then we'll go" he turns around to grab his stuff and then we are out of the door. Normally I pay attention to stuff like that but i just got so caught up in the music with Harry and I lost track of time" I can't help but think about how pissed Emily Is going to be. Like I said she's like a parent to me, she has mama bear moments and will go crazy on me when I'm late for something.  I guess I'll find out.