lost in my mind

𝒫𝓇𝑜𝓉𝑜𝓁𝑜𝑔𝓊𝑒

(the picture at the top is Ariana)

- A R Y I A N A S    P O V -

I lay on the hard, cold floor of my room- which was really just a cramped basement. Keep in mind that we live in Cheshire, England, and it's October. What I'm trying to say that it's cold, like really cold, and it's only Autumn. My last punishment was about 30 minutes ago. The worst thing about living here, it that there is no schedule for my punishments. It's just whenever they want to, or whenever something goes wrong in their lives.

Just then, my "brother-" if you can call him that- bangs the door open, "You, little slut! You made me get fired from my job!" Ziggy says.

I think my parents were drunk while naming him. He has a fricking dog name. No, I don't curse if you were wondering. It gives me some control in my life. Anyway, I don't even know my name. I am referred to as- it, her, you, brat, fat pig, and other names that I chose not to repeat.

"Hey, you cunt! didn't you learn earlier this week to answer me!?" I still don't answer, I rarely talk anymore, it's quite hysterical I talk, I get punished, I don't talk, I still get punished.

I am pulled out of my thoughts by a hard blow to my ribs- CRACK! CRACK! Shoot! was that? Did my ribs just...? I was pulled out of my panic by his heel going into my nose. At this point, I am numb to like half the things they punish me with, but the other 50% of the time, it hurts like the underworld. While he kept beating me, I made a plan. I was going to go to the roof tonight to see the outside again. How long has it been? 2 maybe 3 years? I've always been too scared of getting caught, but today is the day.

Ziggy beat me for four hours tonight. I am covered in blood, and I don't even get water and a rag to clean myself with until Friday. (it's Sunday) the hose! in the backyard! I heard sir and ma'am talking about it getting fixed!

... time skip ...

... 12:47 am...

I quietly climb up the stairs from the basement and go to the front door. I sat on the roof for about an hour, or until I decided to go in now to be safe. I get to the basement and fall asleep like I have my life, well I think, I don't know how old I even am.

The next morning

I woke up to the lovely pain of being kicked across the floor. "get up you fucking whore" ma'am, aka my mother, sneered at me. I tried to get up, but I was in so much pain from Ziggys punishment. "hurry up we don't have all fucking day, we are punishing you because our son got fired and ever since we got you in our lives you have brought nothing but bad luck!" sir, (my father) shouted. I got up and looked up at the monsters towering over me. I don't think I'm all that short, maybe these people are giants. Anyways, they beat me for about 30 minutes until sir threw me to the floor, laying on my stomach. I heard a click and a knife slicing the skin right above the waist of my shorts. "hopefully these will clear up what you are to us. You are our little canvas arent you?" sir spat out. They finished after another 30 minutes and left. I counted 11 letters, I couldn't tell what most of them were except for 2 words on my thigh 'cunt' and 'worthless'

After I laid on the floor for another half hour, I got up and got my super old, and almost broken, computer. I don't know what grade I am supposed to be in at my age, but I am in a class labeled 'year 9' but I am also in something called a 'gifted program' the people who e-mailed me said I'm smart, but the only people I've ever had contact say I'm a 'dumb b****' if you know what I mean. Anyway, I could know more about other subjects like maths and history but I spend more of my time coding, world languages, and science. I have been learning now my 12th language for about 6 months and I almost feel fluent enough, I am learning Hebrew, and the reason it's taking so long is that I wanted to learn about Jewish history of segregation during World War II, so I spent a good month and a half studying it. the languages I know are English, (obviously) French, Spanish, Italian, Russian, Greek, Polish, sign language, Mandarin, Hawaiian, Turkish, and now Hebrew.