Awakening || Harry & Hermione

Chapter 3.3

"Before you take another step in that direction, I have a confession to make." He took a deep breath. 

"I know we decided on the bubblehead charm because it was the simplest, but I actually have very little confidence in it. Maybe I'm letting my own fears influence my thinking. I never did tell you, but I'm not a great fan of swimming. When I was in primary school, my cousin once held my head down in the water for so long that I was coughing up water for ages. It's a terrible feeling when you don't have air, you feel like you're gagging on the water and you can't even scream. I keep thinking: I can perform the spell perfectly fine right now, but what if in the moment it matters most, I make a mistake? Also, I don't have any swimming finesse to speak of, so how would I even make my way around in the first place?"

"Don't take this the wrong way. I'm very glad you told me this, but I can't think of anything right now besides how badly I want to go over to your cousin and blast him with a stinging hex." Hermione's eyes narrowed menacingly. "I would have to do it very subtly and I would be breaking a few wizarding laws, but it would be worth it!"

"Coming from the girl who feared expulsion over death, that means a lot."

She scoffed at him, but quickly grew grave again. "Harry, it seems like you have a lot of pent up worries. If there's anything you're stressed about, no matter how trivial, you know you can come to me."

Harry hesitated. "I was also reading over the charms guide and there was this portion that really stood out to me: spells can change just based on slight change in incantation or intention. Especially for something like the bubblehead charm that needs to be absolutely concrete, that's a big deal. I tried experimenting with changing my intention slightly and it was so easy to accidentally change the gas from oxygen into something like carbon monoxide or nitrogen dioxide or something equally as toxic! And—why are you smiling?"

"Huh?" Hermione snapped out of it. "I'm just not used to talking science while working with magic. I'm sorry! Here you are legitimately worried and all I can think of is how many doors this opens for us." She clapped her hands. "Can you imagine how many innocuous spells could be altered into a weapon if we get a little creative?"

He struggled not to smile and instead said as seriously as possible: "Looks like we'll have to make a new list."

_____

Harry was nervous. Dean, Seamus, and Ron were still lazily getting ready, but he had already spent a good ten minutes pacing in his bottle green dress robes and the next ten fighting a losing battle with his hair in the mirror and wearing such a fierce scowl that even Neville noticed something was off.

"Hey, Harry. You all right?"

"No. Yes. No." He threw his hands up in resignation. "I just don't like the idea of dancing in front of a massive crowd. Or dancing. Or crowds in general."

Neville guided him to sit down on a bed and patted him on the shoulder. "Just think of it as a nice break from the Tournament. I know I'm going to have a blast no matter what. Finally, all those dancing lessons Gran forced on me are going to be of use. Finally, something I'm actually good at!"

For the next five minutes, he went on about both traditional Wizarding dances and the new wave of muggle inspired trends. Neville was going to the ball with Ginny, but with the way his face lit up when he mentioned his 'forced' lessons, Harry rather thought that he would have attended the ball even if he had to dance to the tune of an imaginary partner. Harry smiled at his eagerness, but at the same time felt a little guilty that he knew so little about the hobbies of someone he had been sharing a room with for almost four years now.

"You sure know how to pick your hobbies," Harry remarked and then hastily added when Neville's face turned downcast. "Really! It took me ages to get a handle on this dance stuff and I can still barely pass the standards. And speaking of being good at something, you're probably better at Herbology now than I will be in ten years."

"I'm not that great. Can't be compared to someone like you, facing dragons and fighting in a deathly Tournament to represent your school."

"I didn't exactly choose that, Neville. Even after the first task, everyone seems to forget that." Harry sighed, convinced that he had ruined the mood of the conversation and moved to get up.

"Wait!" Neville said, panicked. "That's not what I meant. I know... I know you didn't put your name in the goblet. It was obvious from the start. You're not the kind of person who likes being at the centre of attention, are you? You just always end up in the spotlight anyway."

At Harry's surprised expression, Neville shamefacedly explained. "I watch people a lot, you know, and I notice these things. I'm sorry for never speaking out and defending you. I didn't think I had the courage, but ever since you called us out in the Great Hall, I've regretted it, Harry."

Harry was quiet. "Thank you," he said at last, "for telling me. You don't need to apologize though; I haven't exactly been a great friend to you either."

Neville shook his head. "Harry, I've considered you a friend since first year when you took off after Malfoy for my remembrall. I know we aren't that close—but, you can come to me if you ever want to talk. My gran tells me I'm a pretty good listener."

Maybe it was the nerves for that evening, maybe it was the fact that this was probably the longest conversation he had held with Neville ever, maybe it was because it was the first time someone besides Hermione had insisted that putting his name in for glory just didn't match his character... but Harry felt strangely emotional at that moment.

"How could I possibly refuse such a glowing endorsement?"