Dead Poets Society x Reader/ one-shots

I WANT TO LIVE! - NEIL PERRY - PART 1

["My God, my God, why did you left me?"]
- Matei, 27, 46

*Author p.o.v. *
       The night was perfect. The theatre was full of people who were watching it like no one would've done this. The cheers being the answer of the chocolate haired boy who also had played on the scene.
???: Neil, your father's here!
       He turned into a ghost after hearing the last two words. He changed his clothes, then got to his father. His soul was shaking inside his body and his hart was hoping for the old man to understand now the importance of theatre in his life. His mind, for once in his life, was on the same side with his heart. They talked, everything seemed ok for the first seconds, but it turned out bad after Mr Perry took his boy by his arm and pulled him into the car. It was useless. Neil vanished after his friends who were in front of the building watched the scene. Todd, Knox, Charlie, Steven, Pitts, Cameron, Mr Keating and y/n. If he would had at least a second to talk to her. To talk with his girlfriend who was watching him leave further and further, both of them having sad masks on their faces. They were trying to hold their emotions in one place and not letting them fall on the floor like a dropped ice cream from the hand of a little kid.
       Mr Keating was about to take his students back to their dorms, but something changed that. Y/n stopped in her tracks, feeling as her chest was hurting. She was hardly breathing, a bad feeling was haunting her mind since long time. Her legs were not couldn't walk anymore, falling on her knees. Todd noticed and returned to her.
Todd: Mr Keating! Help!
       The teacher came to them and helped Todd take Y/n from the middle of the road and wanted to take her to the hospital, but she refused.
Mr Keating: Y/n, that's not ok.
      Charlie gave Todd a bottle of water and he put a little on her face, calming her down a little.
Todd: What happened to you?
Y/n: I had a very bad feeling.
Todd: About what?
Y/n: Neil.
       A tear flowed down her cheek while looking at him. Y/n and Neil were soulmates. And that was for sure when they had almost everything in common, but when bad things happened the other one knew somehow. Felt it somehow.
       They returned to Welton. While Mr Keating was going to his room, Charlie, Todd, Steven, Cameron and Pitts stayed with you.
Charlie: Are you ok now?
Y/n: I have this very bad feeling since the play finished. Something can happen to Neil.

* at Neil's house *
      The negotiations finished, resulting that Neil had no other choice than to do everything that his father wanted untill he wouldn't have enough time to return to his dreams.
      Staying on his bed, Neil thought about it and he's determined to do it. He won't let his father do what he wants.
*Neil: Where I will go he won't reach me. *
      22:06. He opened his window and put the crown on his head. The biblic episode seemed to repeat. In his ears he could hear the cheering and screaming of the people surrounding him with every step he made. He stopped in front of his father to talk, but he couldn't say much thing. After drinking that water, he continued until he left the rest of the house and his past behind. And they put Him on the wodden cross and put nails on his hands and feets. Neil made himself comfortable in his father's chair for the last time. Opening the drawer he found what he wanted. Tied up in a handkerchief, the key to the underworld. Making the cross sign for the last time, he put the gun next to his head.
      Everyone's screams were higher than before, begging for the soldiers to stop. They made the cross stand up and left it like that next to the other two men who were judged similary.
?: My God, my God, why did you left me?
    The gunshot put an end to everything, but it was much more like Neil didn't feel anything or he didn't even pulled the trigger. Turning around, he could see his body lying on the floor, but nothing. Mary the Virgin was crying in front of that image.
      Soon after, he heard the footsteps of his parents going to him. His father turned on the light and examined the room just to find the terrifing truth about his only son who chose to leave them.
      They were crying and the pain was harder than ever someone could imagine. They called the ambulance. In the meantime, he headed back to Welton. His friends were sleeping. In his old room were Todd into his part of the room and Y/n sleeping on her boyfriend's bed. Sudenlly, she started to move into it like she was having a nightmare. A big one. Todd couldn't sleep and he heared her. Him and Neil tried to wake her up, which worked after some challenging minutes. Cold sweat was flowing on her body.
Todd: Y/n, what happened? Did you had a nightmare?
      Heavy tears were now on her cheeks. She covered her face with her hands and cried in the dark, ignoring the two of them.
Todd: Y/n, what is i-
      Neil and Todd were stopped by the door opening and Charlie going inside. He had red eyes and was looking like a train hit him. The others were at the crack of their door.
Todd: Charlie, what is it?
Charlie: Todd... Neil's dead...
      This only made Y/n cry harder. Todd was speechless and the others didn't knew how to react, also.
Y/n: D-did he used-d.. a gun?
Charlie: I don't know... Why?
Y/n: I-I saw him!
Meeks: What do you mean?
Y/n: I dreamt-t this night about his suicide!... He was using a gun-n...
      Neil was stunned this time. She felt it comming and even knew what he has done with that weapon. And the fact that he used a weapon.
Cameron: And where was he?
Y/n: Into.. an office...
      Todd rubbed her back while speaking, then Y/n hugged him. He responsed and the group was left into a bunch of tears and questions.
      The snow of the next day was trying to distract them. All six of them got outside and took a walk to the lake. Todd was the first one to be overwhelmed by emotions. He fell on his kness in the snow and threw up. Charlie followed him and tried to calm him down while Y/n just hugged the blonde shattered boy. She was on the verge to cry again. Neil was next to them, but they weren't even looking at him.
Neil: Why is this happening?
???: You chose it to be like this.
       Looking near him, he saw an angel. His white robe was covered by an armour. His white wings were visible, but not used for the moment. The angel had blonde hair and blue eyes and was a little taller than him.
Neil: Who are you?
The angel: The guardian angel. Normally, you wouldn't be here watching this.
Neil: And why are my friends crying? Why was my family crying?
Guardian angel: They know you are dead. And they loved you.
       Todd didn't want to listen anymore to his friends and ran away while repeatedly falling, but he was still running.
Charlie: Let him be!
      He turned to Y/n who had her face on the ground. He helped her get up and looked in the distance. She couldn't sleep that night. No one could.
Guardian angel: Come with me!
      The boy took the angel by hand and they got to Neil's parents house. They weren't better, either. They had their black clothes on. The body was  already put into the coffin. The costume and shoes he was wearing were the ones he wore at the prom. In that night he had fun with his friends and also confessed to Y/n which made it the most happiest night from his existence. The ring on his thumb finger had a pair one which he gave to Y/n on their one year aniversary. Promise rings. He wasn't wearing it anymore. He wasn't wearing anything except for his white long shirt stained with something that seemed like black ink stains on a piece of paper, but they had different sizes.
       People started to go inside. His relatives. His uncle from Oregon, his  great-grandmother that was around her 80's and was walking with a cane in her hand. She was the grandmother of his mother. Behind were his cousins, a nephew, an aunt from town which was a widow since 5 years. She loved Neil and grew him like her own son and he also loved her. The sister of his father, surprisingly. Everyone put flowers on the boys body, covering him like a blanket. Little by little, the house was filling up with known faces. But not the least, the knocks on the door catches his attention. His father opened the door, on the other side, his friends being there with the same sad expressions. He didn't say anything and let them inside. They put flowers on him to make the blanket thicker. The boys pull off their hats and stay into one of the corners of the room. Y/n had her head covered. She put the boquet, then kissed his forehead. This surprised some, but they realised it was posible she was his girlfriend and didn't comment. Not even his parents. She got next to her friends and waited a little more to look at him while some were struggling to stop their cries.
       Charlie didn't put the hat back on his head. The gunshot Y/n talked about existed and he saw a little blood stain on the blue shirt Neil was wearing.