Lady Winters

Chapter Twenty: Cracks in the cement

"Johnny?" I yell as I enter the house. I've been out all day, running errands. It's very unlike him to be radio silent all day, especially when he isn't working. I make my way around the house, looking for him. As I do I head straight upstairs. My first guess is his office, which is wrong. Next, I try our room, smiling when I see the bathroom light is on. Maybe he is in the tub? I slip inside but scream when I see him. He is laying on the floor, unconscious. Spread around him is an insane amount of empty wine bottles, and four empty bottles of pills.

I fall to my knees, flipping him onto his stomach. I'm scared I'll hurt him, but it needs to be done. I shove two fingers down his throat, forcing him to throw up. He does so repeatedly, covering both of us in vomit.

"What is wrong with you?" I gasp as he struggles to catch his breath. He looks around the room, obviously lost. Anger surges through my body as I stand, frantically washing my hands.

"Fuck." He groans, attempting to climb out of the pool of vomit. As he does I freeze, tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Am I not enough?" I whisper, slowly turning to him.

"What?" He growls, too exhausted to try to work out what I said.

"Am I not enough!" I snap, making him flinch. However, he just looks up at me in confusion. I angrily storm from the room. I hear him groan as he stands but ignore him. I dig into our closet, pulling out my suitcase. I hastily begin packing as he stumbles into the room.

"What are you doing?" He growls in a slurred voice.

"I'm leaving. Obviously, I'm not enough so there is no reason I should stay." I growl back, earning a shocked look.

"You can't leave." He gasps, grabbing my arm. His grip is so firm it hurts.

"Johnny, you are hurting me." I whimper, attempting to pull away.

"I need you, you can't leave." He begs but does let go. I rip my wrist out of his hand, turning back to the suitcase.

"Please Ivy." He begs, forcing me to face him. Tears are streaming down his cheeks now.

"What did I do wrong?" I whimper as I look him over, the pain in my heart growing.

"Nothing, I'm sorry. I'm just a foolish old man. I'm sorry." He sobs but I just shake my head.

"Something happened, something pushed you over the edge. What happened?" I demand, catching his vomit-covered chin when he tries to look away.

"Tell me."

"I messed up. I relapsed, hard. I did something stupid." He whimpers as I wipe away his tears.

"Tell me what you did."

"You'll hate me." He sobs, his whole body shaking.

"Johnny what hurt me was seeing you unconscious on that floor. I don't think you can hurt me more than that." His lip trembles as I speak, but he gives in.

"I cheated on you. I don't remember doing it but I did it. I went to the club with some old friends. I knew what they did and went anyway. We started drinking, then the drugs came out. The next thing I remember is waking up in a bed with five women...." The blood in my veins runs ice-cold as he speaks. It feels like a can't breathe.

"How long ago?" I manage to whisper. My voice is weak with fear.

"It happened before Jasper was born...while I was gone filming. When I got home I didn't have the courage to tell you. Then the baby came. You were so happy, I didn't want to take that away from you." Jasper is nearly six months old now.