what do you even want ken?

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sorry i haven't updated in a while, i've been going through a lot of stuff but i'm going to try and post a lot this weekend

Ryans pov:
me and raquelle sat there, sitting in silence over our heartbreak when we were suddenly interrupted.

"Raquelle, Ryan, it's go time." Said Skipper as she burst into the closet.

I groaned at her words since the last thing I wanted was to deal with everything. But at the same time I wanted to leave at this very moment. I wanted to go make Barbie pay for the pain she caused to everyone I cared about.

But leaving this closet means having to see Ken. I wasn't sure if I was ready for all that emotion to hit me.

I wanted to turn everything off, go back to the old me that hid everything. But the old me had a heart filled with pain, and I still do, but Ken has helped loosen the heartache.

Ken has changed me for the better

Me and Raquelle gathered the couple necessary items needed for our mission. As we piled the camera, rope ( just in case ), etc into the bag Raquelle stopped for just a moment, opening her mouth to speak.

"A part of me doesn't want to do this Ryan." She started, her eyes almost filled with what looked like remorse. "I think a part of me still loves her." She said with her voice barely below a whisper.

"I think you still care for her Raquelle, but that feeling that you think is love, I think it's just manipulation." I explained to her.

Raquelle nodded at my thoughts in agreement. "Your'e right, thanks Ryan." She said with a surge of bravery taking over her voice.

I sent her a small smile as I walked away into the kitchen. I immediately regretted my decision when I saw him in there.

He was facing the window, looking outside at the scenery that stood in front of us. My first thought was to quickly escape from the room, but I felt frozen in my tracks. In that moment I couldn't seem to muster up the courage to just leave, like I always did.

Ken made me want to stay.

"Ken" I called out.

Ken whipped his head around in shock. Quickly taking me in and sighing. "Oh, it's just you." He said.

I chuckled at his words and went to stand next to him. "Are you nervous?" I asked him. I had no idea why I was just talking to him so casually after he just practically rejected me.

But here we are, yet again. I'm at Kens mercy, hopelessly smitten for this stupid guy. I'm only kidding, I know he's just not some guy. I may have done some idiotic things in my life but I do know that ken means everything to me.

"Is that really what your asking after what happened?" Ken asked frustrated. "You should be angry with me, isn't that how it works?"

"Do you think i'm not frustrated with you? I'm not angry, but yeah, i'm frustrated!" I exclaimed. Why do we both have to be so confusing.

I wanted to shut my mouth but my lips betrayed me. "One second you love me and the next second you don't want me? What do you even want Ken?" I questioned, now filled with an immense amount of anger.

"I don't know what I want Ryan! All I know is I want you but I can't figure out how to say it!" Ken yelled, his voice now filled with fury as well.

I think the whole house can hear us now.

"Well then just say it!" I practically demanded, getting more and more frustrated with his behavior by the second.

"I told you! I don't know how!" Ken boomed. If I didn't know any better I would have thought the table was shaking by now.

What I said next I will always regret.

"You know, maybe I should have gone after Barbie instead. Yeah she's also a cheater, but at least I know who she is." I spat, the words falling from my mouth like venom.

Kens eyes widened in shock at what I just said. And once I saw the look on his face, I immediately felt a sense of regret.

"Fine." Was all ken said. Fine.

It was only one word but it was enough to tear me to pieces.

Ken stormed out of the room. Leaving me alone to deal with the pain. But who was I kidding, I did deserve it. I deserved to feel this pain.

I slammed my fist onto the kitchen table, my tears begging to escape my eyes but I denied them permission. I sucked it all in, everything for a good two minutes until I fully broke down.

Tears fell down my face, but just as quick as they fell I wiped them away in anger twisted with sadness.

I walked to the bathroom so I could make sure I looked fine. I didn't need anyone worrying about me. I looked into the mirror, splashing cold water onto my face in the process.

But I was interrupted abruptly by Skipper yet again. She looked slightly uncomfortable but she didn't ask any questions.

"We have to go." She stated, glancing at me and the floor in a back and forth motion.

I only nodded at what she said. "I'll be right there."

Skipper left in a hurry and walked outside, leaving me alone in the house.

I might have just ruined everything with Ken.

And even though it was partially my fault, I knew who was exactly to blame for this whole situation.

I was going to make Barbies life a living hell once we caught her.

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