minho has an eating disorder.
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"that's a bmi of 17.6", the woman announced, the worried look on her face couldn't conceal her obvious pride about minhos weight loss. "I mean, wow".
minho only shakily exhaled. his stomach twisted, he was lightheaded...
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(◞‸◟)
maybe this was the decision that started everything.
apparently there was no such thing as silence for minho anymore. he had been awake for three hours when the clock hit 4 am and it started to get real painful to stay awake;
not only because the burning in his eyes drove him crazy but also because the hunger pain that woke him up was basically killing him. it kept him awake for the past hours and it felt like it got worse every passing second.
no matter what he did, it wouldn't go away. he tried drinking lots of water, but after the third bottle he got physically sick and couldn't drink a single sip anymore.
he tried looking at other idols he though were inspiring and compared himself to them. he screenshotted a few of their pictures and stared at them for minutes, then looked at some of his pictures just to maximise the effect. in his eyes, he looked so different, so weird. he wasn't pretty like the other idols were. he was just average, maybe not even that anymore.
he tried watching youtube videos and netflix series to get his mind off food, but his brain just wouldn't shut up. there were two little voices inside of him that were torturing him now. he didn't know which one was worse at this point.
I'm so hungry. I want ramen and toast and cereal and cookies and chocolate bars. god, I just want to feel full for one second, I don't want to feel hungry anymore. I restricted so much and I worked so hard, I deserve a little bit of food at least.
what the fuck are you talking about? deserve? deserve? if you deserve anything then it's to work out and eat like half the amount of food you're eating right now. you looked at yourself, right? you looked at the others, right? then what makes you think that a pig like you deserves anything but the fucking worst?
minho swallowed and slowly sat up. he felt his heart beat quicken and slowly moved his hand up to feel his chest. only now he noticed how his hands were shaking and bit his lip. he really shouldn't eat, he couldn't fuck it all up. but his stomach started hurting so much that the pain went up his throat and started torturing his brain too. just what the fuck was he supposed to do?
he glanced to the clock next to him once again. 4:12 am. would it be fine if he ate an apple? and some carrots? he could eat breakfast now and skip it later, maybe that was a good idea. with that thought, minho finally got up and tippy toed into the kitchen once again, this time there was surely nobody who would interrupt him. the whole dorm was quiet for once, but it wasn't calm or comforting like minho had imagined it to be. it was rather odd, scary even. the floor was dark and empty, like nobody had ever walked through it before.
