So I Married a Rockstar

Chapter Forty-Two

Ch.42: A Broken Heart and a Bottle of Jack

I had no idea what to do.

I stood at the breakfast bar, Digger at my feet, watching Jude add Jack Daniels to the coffee I'd made him, and felt completely and utterly helpless. I'd have given anything to take away his pain, but I didn't know how.

The front door open and Elle rushed in. Her face was pale, her hair pulled into a knot on top of her head. It was the most unpolished I'd ever seen her.

"Oh, Jude," she said, her lip wobbling. "I'm so sorry."

Jude drained his coffee, then took a swig of Jack straight from the bottle. Elle looked at me, and I reached out and squeezed her hand.

"Thank you for coming," I whispered.

Elle slid onto one of the breakfast stools. "Do we know what happened?"

"Yeah," Jude said. "Darrell stuck a needle loaded with too much heroin in his arm and it killed him."

Elle flinched a little, and I had to remind myself that Darrell had once been her friend too. He hadn't been important to her the way he'd been to Jude, but his death obviously still hurt.

"Where did they find him?" Elle asked.

"In his apartment, on the bathroom floor."

I hadn't known Darrell, and the two interactions I'd with him hadn't been positive. But, fuck, I wished he hadn't gone out like this. Despite the blackmail, despite the way he'd abused Jude's attempts to help him, I'd wanted to believe that Jude's old friend was still in there somewhere.

"I could have helped him if he'd let me. Instead he died alone at the end of a dirty needle," Jude said. His voice was hollow, empty.

"You did everything you could –" Elle started.

"But it wasn't enough, was it?"

Elle fell silent.

Jude slid off his stool and grabbed the whisky bottle. "I'm going out," he said.

"Where?" I asked.

He shrugged, not looking at me. "Don't know."

"I don't think you should be alone right n –"

"I need to be," Jude interrupted.

I bit my lip and looked at Elle, who gave a helpless little shrug back.

"Jude," I started.

"Please don't," he said. At least he looked at me this time. His eyes were dark with pain and grief, and it broke my heart because nothing I could do would take this away from him.

"I really need to be by myself," Jude said.

I hated letting him leave like this, but if it really was what he needed, then I couldn't stop him. He was going to break into pieces today, and I had to stay strong for him, because he'd need me to help put him back together.

So I let him walk out of the loft with a broken heart and a bottle of Jack.

Elle buried her face in her hands. "I can't believe this is happening. I guess I should have seen it coming, right? Addiction kills, and Darrell didn't want to get help. But he didn't deserve to die like that."

"Does anyone else know yet?" I asked.

I suspected not, otherwise Jude's phone would have been blowing up.

"Only his family. Neil and Rich are helping keep the media off the scent for now so the Deals have time to process this, but they won't be able to keep it under wraps for long. The more Darrell spiralled down, the easier a target he was for media bullshit. If they haven't already picked up on the ambulance at his apartment then it's only a matter of time before one of his neighbours summons the vultures in the hopes of a quick paycheque."