The Troubles of Angy

Chapter 13

"Morning, mom." Alex said, spotting his mom at the entrance of the mini cafe from the corner of his eyes.

"Morning, son." Emily smiled and walked deeper into the room. A moment of silence passed. She dropped her purse on the counter and eyed the cup in Alex's hands. "Is that coffee?"

Alex stared blankly at his cup. The black color of the beverage seemed just as dark as his heart had become. Each sip of the hot liquid burned down to his soul, boiling a hollow through his sunken heart. It didn't burn his pain away. It just reminded him of it, searing the details onto his foremind. "Yes." He replied tersely.

"You didn't go to school?" Her brows formed a crease. She was certain that that wasn't his first cup of coffee and probably not the last.

"I couldn't." He rubbed his thumbs against the ceramic mug.

"What about Angy?"

"In school." His lips parted. He craved a refill. Something to make him numb.

"Alex, are you okay?" Emily asked despite knowing the answer. He wasn't okay. She knew. She could see it. Yet she asked anyway.

Alex raised his head then, flicking his pallid gaze to his mom. He took in her outfit in a quick glance. She'd gone out. There were bits on rain drops on her dress. He could still hear the soft and distant, percussive pitter-patter sound of the rain.  The rain would get heavy soon. A storm was brewing. It always did on this day. He stared. But said nothing.

"I made a quick stop." She explained when Alex continued to stare at her. "I went there."

"Oh." He nodded curtly. Getting to his feet, he rounded the table, his cup held within the grip of his fingers as he trudged down to the sink to rinse the cup.  His shoulders stood tense and taut. He turned the faucet close and returned his mug after which he proceeded to leave the room.

"Alex, don't do this." Emily said before Alex could step out of her sight. Her voice came out tired and her eyes earnest.

"What am I doing, mom?" He sighed and made the mistake of looking at his mom's face. It would've been hard to pinpoint if he wasn't her son. The subtle bags under eyes that she'd tried to hide with a concealer. The paleness of her cheeks that she'd tried to hide with a blush. The fatigue in her eyes that she'd tried to hide with a smile. He could suddenly see them all.

"Don't push me away. Don't shut me out." Emily took a step closer, her eyes refusing to leave him.

"Mom." Alex pressed his lips so hard that it disappeared from sight. His raging thoughts rammed around like trucks in his head so bad that he could feel a headache pushing forward amongst all othersl. He breathed. "I just want to be alone."

"But you are not alone. I don't want you doing what you always do. Shutting everyone out and holing yourself into melancholic seclusion." She said softly, urging him with her gentle gaze for him to say something. She would have been grateful at the very least that she could see his contacts shielded eyes- since his hair was bundled into a low, messy bun- if his eyes weren't blank and wan.

"I-" He ran a tongue over his suddenly dry lower lip and shifted on his feet, breaking eye contact with his mom. "I don't know what you want me to do, Mom." He sighed.

"I know it's hard. It's hard for me too, for us all. Seeing you like this worries me, Alex." She allowed her worried gaze to wander over his figure, leaning against the counter.

"I-" This time of the year had never failed to throw in his face the horror of a part of his past that he'd tried burying in a darkened casket, hidden deep inside of him. He was always forced back to the harsh reality he wished it never was.