LAURA

Mom

LAURA

by VMANALO

Perks/MVM copyright

Cover photo credit to owner

(ORIGINAL)

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"Every once in a while I see her smile...., I hear Christopher Cross' song in repeat while I rub my tummy. I am about to deliver a beautiful baby and decided to name her Laura. She was a wonderful angel but there's something with her that I couldn't help but notice. Normal girls would flinch, cry or react gravely when they get hurt or suffer broken leg, arm or bruises from bike rides or lost tooth. But with Laura, she seemed composed and don't cry, shout or overreact over pain, broken bones or even when her uncle asked her to kill a chicken for Thanksgiving dinner. That was the first time I saw her not blink and just smiled when she saw the chicken's head flowing with blood all over the table and even touched it with ease.

When I was younger I may have my share of bad habits like bullying kids in our block, throwing stones at them until they bleed or sticking a pencil on my classmates finger when I got angry once in a while. My parents would bring me to psychiatrists and been medicated for almost 10 years until I met Laura's dad, Gary. He was a good man, God bless his soul and tolerated my craziness. I miss him so much that when he died due to an accident I drowned myself in rum. But a good news came that even if I was smoking and drinking I learned that I was pregnant and stopped everything I was doing to protect my baby and deliver her healthy. And so I thought!

Tan, tanantan, tan, tan tan tan, tan tananan tan!, the song playing is entitled "Togetherness" by Little Nightmare box with Mono, six and the Tin Man series and game. I love this music, it eases my mind and heart but not my soul. Mine is always restless, searching for something or some one to fill in a void in it, in me. I like seeing kids bump into something then bleed from it and also love to see people in an accident or shooting, ,like it soothes my soul, keeps my mind at ease especially when they bleed and shout in pain. And when they die, that's the interesting part, I love the autopsies and cutting of skin, like cutting meat from poultry or meat factories. I watch a lot of You Tubes on these and it excites me to see people get hurt and bleed to death.

I don't know why but I just do. Mom said that it's not good to feel this because pain is a natural feeling but inflicting pain to others isn't normal. But who is? Normal?

As I was growing up, mom used to love watching horror flicks and films such as Tin Man, Saw, The Boogie Man and women assassins such as Resident Evil and Killing Eve. But I never liked suspense or horror scenes. What I am interested into is watching strange films such as Silence of the Lambs, Carrie, Annabelle, Chucky and more. I am fascinated by cutting skins and seeing it bleed like I want to smell, eat and see these skins, and how fluffy, soft to munch as they looked vulnerable, pale, lifeless, dead. And when I touch these delicate, smooth skins, I flip and my mind would turn into a powerful haze like I get aroused with them, with beautiful and wonderful smell of skins.

As I grew up I had several instances that pricking the arm of my classmate with a newly sharpened pencil or punching one of my girlfriends when we had a petty fight since she called me 'psycho' in 8th grade. Her nose bled profusely and it felt good seeing the blood flow from her nose. She stopped me from touching her nose and shouted for help but I covered her mouth so as not to be seen with her on this momentous day of my life. Her eyes are growing wide when I tried to touch her broken nose and peered through it, smelled the blood flowing from it and licked it. Ahhhhh!!!, blood, brokenness and skin bruised and all red, I love it, I wanted to see more so I took my hand off her mouth which she nervously looked at me and asked why I am doing it. I said, I love you and you can go to the clinic now. Thank you!. She was my best friend I think since 3rd grade and I really liked her a lot, but when she ran to go for help she looked at me and said it again. You are really crazy, Laura!

Why thank you, Jen!. Maybe I am and I love it!....That was the start of my journey as a kid who was found to be crazy and called many names like psycho, strange, weird, addict, drunk, skeezo...prenik...whatever and many more. The weird name some kids at our block used to make me angry was Laura Whora, well I'm not a whore really, but I did cut lawn for a bar girl near our house, when she needed help for her front yard. Maybe because I looked harmless, so she paid me to cut her grass and well I didn't just cut them but trimmed them as well. I was 12 years old then. I looked like a tomboy but had big headlights and it's okay with me Britanny was the name of the girl working at Philly's Bar. Phil is our horny neighbor who loves to peep at women in their private rooms using his telescope which found out when he asked me to take out his garbage bags one afternoon. How I knew the weird stuff he does, well! I secretly checked his bedroom to see things I haven't seen in our house especially my mom's room. So, yup, there was the huge telescope that you use when you want to check on the stars at night. But with Phil, he is better of alone fantasizing on Britanny on her bedroom where the telescope could see through the girl's glass window when she is changing from her work clothes to undressing or really none at all.