Caged | The Hunger Games AU ✓

xxi. stardust

twenty-one - stardust

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matthias and i are completely at peace as we lay supine under the pale moonlight, our backs against the soft grass that tickles the sides of our faces. carly is up in a tree again, cleaning her arrows. she is just out of hearing range, and for some reason, i am grateful for that.

"this has become our tradition," matthias notes, breaking the calm silence that has lapsed between us.

"what, sitting under the stars as we tell each other our secrets?" i question with amusement. he chuckles softly from beside me and i feel a warming in my heart at the mellifluous sound. laughter is understandably rare in the hunger games, but it's his that makes me feel at home.

"when you think about it, we've pretty much always stayed up when everyone else was asleep and just talked," matthias says. it's true. over the past however many days we've been in the games, he and i have grown closer and closer.

i know this is wrong. i shouldn't be this attached to him. we shouldn't be laying out here on the grass under the moonlight. but there are a lot of things that shouldn't be done, and yet we did them anyway.

the capitol anthem blares out and i jump in fright at the sudden loudness. where we are positioned, there is just enough room between the tops of the trees to see the pictures of the tributes appear in the black sky.

there are only two. two fallen tributes. lycus' face appears in the sky with his district beneath it. it fades. i suck in a breath. i clench my fists and make myself rigid.

none of that stops the punch to the gut i feel when i see nina's face staring down at me.

as soon as he senses my discomfort – if that's even what you can call it – matthias reaches out without hesitation and grabs my enclosed hand. the action surprises me and i freeze. his hand massages mine until he is able to coax my fist open, where he entwines our fingers.

the anthem cuts off. it's back to silence. and matthias still hasn't let go. his thumb rubs small, soothing circles into the back of my hand, and soon i let my body relax. his touch is so warm and familiar that it comforts me better than anything else can.

aside from the two hugs we've shared, this is the most i've come in contact with a human other than my family and cinna. and now that i think about it, matthias was the first and only person outside of family and stylists to come this close to me without getting their head ripped off.

my mind thinks back to when i grabbed his hand after the fire that killed the tribute, but that moment was nowhere near as intimate as this one, where are fingers are actually weaved together.

i glance at him and see he's staring straight up into the sky, the moon's light reflecting into his bright blue eyes. i bite my lip and turn away, feeling embarrassed for looking at him.

"what happened to you?"

it takes a second before i realize he's talking to me. i blink, confused. then i discern that he means what happened after i was kidnapped.

i let out a slow breath of air. "i..."

that's all i can get out. matthias's head turns to face me, half-hidden in the shadows. "you don't have to talk about it now. whenever you're ready."

my mind drifts to asher, of him when he was about to tell us the tragic story of his past. how he was breaking down before us, but still managed to get the words out. i want to be strong like he was.

so i take another deep breath and begin.

"it was only a few minutes after you fell asleep," i start. "they pressed a cloth over my nose and mouth and let me suffocate until i passed out. when i woke up, i was lying on something soft but packed. i heard noises like shovels and what felt like dirt being layered onto me."