Caged | The Hunger Games AU ✓

xxxi. homebound

thirty-one - homebound

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i'm asleep when we approach the train station in district twelve. a furious poking on my shoulder wakes me up, causing me to blink in confusion until haymitch's face appears in front of me. 

"get up, sweetheart," he says blankly. "we've arrived."

the faint sounds of muffled chatter enter my ears as i remove my hand from my cheek, where my arm had been holding my head up from the table. i rotate my cramping wrist as my eyes drift to the windows. hundreds of people are lined up outside of the station, some capitol people with cameras lining a passageway that's surely meant for us to walk down. peacekeepers stand on opposite sides of the path, trying to contain the excitement of the people. i feel my stomach churn.

"get ready for the most important performance you will ever have," peeta says as he finishes buttoning his blue dress shirt. katniss tucks a few loose strands of hair from her braid behind her ear and smoothes down her black pants.

"where's matthias?" i question, yawning as i stretch my arms over my head and hear my joints crack.

"he'll come soon enough," katniss assures. "for now, come here. i have something to give you."

she waves her hand toward herself as if beckoning me toward her. i stand unsurely, slightly nervous for what it is she's going to give me. but as i walk up to her, i notice a silver circle enclosed in her palm and release a breath of relief. my phoenix pin.

"you keep forgetting this everywhere," katniss says with a neutral expression on her face. she fastens the pin onto my shirt and straightens it out before smoothing out my clothes. it's almost like she's trying to keep her shaking hands busy with anything possible. "good luck out there. keep your head high, and try to smile."

"hold matthias' hand," peeta adds with a teasing smile. "i'm sure he'll like that."

at first i think he means matthias will like it, and a grin forms on my face. but then it clicks. he doesn't mean matthias at all. he's talking about president snow.

my blood turns cold in my veins as if i had drunk from a glass of iced water. the smile fades from my face. suddenly, now i feel much more compelled to act defiantly than i ever have before.

"ready to go?" matthias asks as he steps into the compartment, running his fingers through the ends of his hair. he looks handsome in his silk black button-down with the sleeves rolled to his elbows and black pants. the darkness of his outfit causes the blue of his eyes to pop. somehow they look different to me. then i realize why.

matthias' eyes, which had formerly been a bright, blinding blue, are now dull and bleak. only i - and maybe katniss, peeta, and haymitch - can understand what made them change like that.

i nod firmly. "ready."

he comes toward me and places a hand on the small of my back. i can feel the warmth of his skin through the lace backing of my shirt; a shiver runs down my spine. i wipe my palms on my pleated white skirt and try hard to moisten my dry mouth.

the train comes to a stop in front of the platform. the voices are louder; the cameras turn toward us as the doors of the train slide open. i force a smile to light up my face as soon as they do. matthias' hand is already in mine, grasping tightly onto my fingers like i am the only thing keeping him from running back into that train.

i'm wearing flats this time, which makes it a lot easier to walk down the pathway than if i were in heels. katniss had advised me to dress as light and airily as possible – hence the skirt – and the consequences of obeying her are that goosebumps cover every inch of my bare legs. my loose lavender shirt moves with the chilly breeze.