Abyss, or Bliss?

Back in Time

If I could go back in time,
I would go straight to my young body.
I would shower it with love,
And show her that she's worthy.

If I could go back in time,
I would prevent the broken heart,
Bring a light unlike any other,
And let it melt away the dark.

If I could go back in time,
Even to yesterday,
I would listen so that I am heard,
Because I know I am not okay.

I would preserve my mind,
For it belongs to me,
I would not let academic strain touch it,
I would leave it be.

I would show the world,
So much kindness,
Never talk grievances,
With people soaked in sadness.

I would be a pretty flower,
Growing in the impossible.
I would give myself laughter,
And make life livable.

I would take away the anger,
The deep-rooted jealousy,
I would throw away the hatred,
That belongs to every part of me.

If I could go back in the past,
I'd change things for a better life,
But the past is irreplaceable,
And it seems I've lost my fight.

Some days I question my existence,
Too embedded in my doubt,
I can no longer try,
To let my voice out.

Because my voice is gone,
Maybe it never even existed,
But if I could go back in time,
I'd make sure others heard it.

I'd make sure I wasn't quiet,
Make sure I wasn't meant to please,
I would give myself happiness,
Bring the world to their knees.

But you can't change the past,
You can only wait for tomorrow,
In hopes one day happiness will come,
And take away the betrayal and sorrow.

I know I can't go back,
I know I have to go on,
But if I can't go back to the past,
Then where do I belong?

I am lost beyond knowledge,
Afraid of who I am today,
Because the girl of my past,
Appears to have ran away.

She has fought and fought and fought,
Only to end up in agony,
To have hatred from others,
Where confidence became her enemy.

I cannot live in the past,
I don't like who I am in the present,
Can't continue to the future,
As someone I resent.

But oh, how I wish to go back in time, again.

Back in Time 2/21/24 15:00