the heir's secret

the game has begun

"Did you hear about the uprising?" I stop walking and listen in making sure I cannot be seen.

"Thomas Wyatt, I think is the leader,"

"Is he?" Someone replies. I lean in quietly so that I can hear the women's voices.

"I met some man last night, he had come from London and according to him the heretics have reached Ludgate." I try to silence my gasp by putting my hand over my mouth, trapping the sound before it escapes my lips. I cannot believe it. If this is true then he has done more than I ever expected, he may even succeed. I listen in on them discussing the Queens reaction but after a while they move on to the topic of men so I walk away from the maids washing clothes. Elizabeth is not told anything anymore, Mary knows that they will overpower her with her sisters support so she is trying to prevent it, little does she know Elizabeth has already signed the deal.

I have tried to keep distant from Elizabeth over the past week. Since I slammed the door on her she has not really talked to me. We never used to argue but these past two years when Mary became Queen we have had so many rows. It has been so stressful for her, her life has been on the edge of a cliff since the day Mary turned up at Heveningham, one push and she will fall. She is so unhappy, she hides it well but I have known her too long to be fooled. If women were allowed to act she would be the main brilliant, sometimes she even makes me wonder whether she is pretending or showing her true feelings, like an actor she acts someone she is not. Robert Dudley is still at Hatfield to my disgust. I walked in on him in Elizabeth's chamber yesterday, he was listening to her read. I tried to hide my anger but I ended up leaving. I think Elizabeth has given up making me happy, I don't even know if she likes me anymore.

Slowly I tap on her chamber door and wait patiently for a response. The door opens hastily. Elizabeth becomes suddenly annoyed when she sees me, she must have been expecting someone else.

"I have some news." I see her hesitate but after a few seconds she opens the door wide so that I can walk inside. She shuts the door behind her and without offering me a chair she stands waiting for what I have to say to be said. I clear my throat and look at the flowers on her table, trying desperately not to look at her face.

"Wyatt has reached Ludgate." Elizabeth stops and walks towards me.

"Are you sure? Who did you hear this from?"

"The maids." I reply. I carry on looking at the flowers, she only stands a metre away but I can smell the strong smell of her lavender perfume. She has always liked the smell of lavender, it reminded her of her mother she once told me. I take a quick glance at her face and I notice excitement, like a child about to be given a toy. After a long silence Elizabeth walks over to the corner of her bedroom and grabs her red cloak, tying the ribbon tightly around her throat.

"I must go to mass." She tells me as she continues to tie a knot.

"You never used to." I reply. She never used to wear white either I realise as I look down at her lace trimmed dress.

"I do not wish for Mary to get suspicious, I must undertake no chances." When she has finished she stops and looks at me. "Will you not go with me?" She asks as the strong wind from outside hits the window creating a loud swooshing noise. "Its not that boring, truly. You may be surprised."

"I do not wish to." I reply. I would have gone if she had asked me two week ago, I would have done anything she had asked me then. I dont know why I can hardly look at her now without feeling angry and embarrassed.

"Very well." She replies and she walks past me, her dress swaying with each movement. Suddenly she stops and she stares at me. "Kate," she says and I look at her waiting with dread for what she has to say. She goes to speak and I watch her mouth open but then she stops. She looks down at the floor and says one thing before she leaves. "Robert is staying." I feel my hands fall to my side's and my blood drains from my head. I stare at her and just as I am about to ask her why she leaves shutting the door behind her. Why am I doing this? I had asked him to stay, we shook hands. But yet now I have changed my mind. She told me that she is not in love with him but how could she not be? Why would she want him to stay if not to smite me. I walk towards the window and watch as she walks through the garden with the wind pulling her dress from her legs in the direction of the church. What has become of her? She doesn't even walk the same. Her joyful stride with a skip in her step has disappeared. These past two years Elizabeth has become obsessed with becoming queen she has wanted nothing more, but her ambition is killing who she truly is. It pains me to watch her fall deeper and deeper into the game for the throne. Does she even care about me anymore?