Chapter twenty nine

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I heard a car pull up but I didn't check to see if it was Nate or not. I waited patiently to see what would happen next. I closed my eyes, and bit my lip and tried to steady my breathing and then I heard it. The knocking. I stood up slowly and looked through the peephole. I breathed a sigh of relief once I saw who it was. I flung open the door and engulfed my brother in a hug.

"I missed you," I whispered as I buried my nose into his neck. He shushed me as I stroked my hair. He kissed the side of my head and we swayed slightly. We stayed like that for a little bit, just enjoying each other's embrace. Tears brim my eyes as I breathed in his scent which smelled like vanilla for some reason. We let go of each other and he brushed a lock of my hair out of my face. "We should go inside."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Ana," Nate said as he looked at the house behind me. I frowned at him and shook my head, I gripped onto his arms and pleaded with my eyes. He hesitated a bit and sighed. "Only for a little and then I have to leave before your. . .parents get home." He swallowed at the mention of my parents. I nodded quickly and guided him inside.

He looked around the house and we were in the living room. He sat down on the white couch with the red pillows that my mom loved. He glanced down at the red carpet and smiled when he saw Mickey laying on his back with tongue out. Nate rubbed Mickey's head and he whined, Nate chuckled and leaned his body back against the couch. I sat next to him and looked at him, he looked tired. I placed my hand against his cheek and he smiled at me.

"Are you okay?," He asked. I looked down at the floor and shook my head.

"No, I'm not. I remember you and we can barely see each other. I remember Jasper and I can't see him either! I'm in love with him, Nate! I've never been in love before but when I saw him. It's like everything stopped!," I exclaimed. I looked at him, with tears streaming down my face. Nate scooted closer to me and put an arm around my shoulder. He rubbed my shoulder and kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry! I always complain about everything to you! I can never decide anything for myself! I'm a horrible person! I have made you miserable and each time I always feel bad about myself, you have always been the one to pick me up! Aren't you done!? Aren't you done with me!?"

I felt Nate deepen the hug but I tried to push him away. This always happens! He hugs me when I complain, I can't let him keep doing that. I can't let him always feel sympathy for me. I can't. I have to help him from now on, he can't be my keeper. I tried to push him away but he was stronger than me so he just held me closer.

"I know you're upset about everything, I'm the one that allows you to complain because I don't want you to bottle up your feelings like how I did. You don't remember but when you were little, you wouldn't tell me anything. You weren't telling me how you were feeling or anything! It broke my heart! I tried everything to for you to tell me something, I thought you hated me! I didn't understand why you wouldn't talk to me! I was so upset that I started to cry, then you crawled into my lap and told me why you didn't want to talk," He said as he pushed a lock of hair out of my face and cupped my cheek. He averted his eyes away from me for a brief moment as if he struggling to say the words that he was going to say next. He sighed and then looked at me. "You didn't want to talk because you didn't want me to know how you felt all the time, you heard me cry one time about mom and dad, and you didn't want me to worry about you all the time."

"I did that?," I whispered. He nodded his head and hugged me. He stroked my hair softly like he always did when I was little. I sniffled a little as I closed my eyes and breathed in his scent like I always did. I chuckled softly and I wiped my tears. "God, I make such a mess of everything"

"Yes, you do, but you wouldn't be my sister if you didn't. We always clean up together," He murmured. I laughed and held him closer. We stayed like that until we pulled apart and he smiled at me. I smiled back at him and my eyes lit up as I had an idea. I stood up and held out my hand towards him, he raised an eyebrow at me in question.

"I want to show you my room," I said excitedly. Nate eyes harden and he immediately shook his head.

"Anastasia no, I told you I was only going to be here for a little bit, what if your...parents show up," He looked uncomfortable when he said that. I got a little angry with him and crossed my arms.

"They are not my parents! They never were! They were fakes!," I exclaimed. He sighed and clasped his hands together and leaned forward, he closed his eyes as if he were praying and reopened his eyes, he looked into my eyes and spoke.

"Don't you think I know that! But they took care of you! I can't be caught today! They'll find out about us! I can't get us killed!," He stood up from the couch and started to walk towards the front door. I grabbed his arm before he could leave, he turned his head towards me, and his eyes softened when he looked at me. He pulled me into a hug and placed his chin on top of my head. "I'm sorry but I can't risk it. I just got you back, and I can't lose you again. I'll see you when I can, okay?" I nodded my head and he kissed my forehead.

"I love you, big brother," I whispered.

"I love you too, see you soon," He murmured. He pulled away from the hug and he opened the door and left. I stepped forward and placed my hand on top of the door he just left from. I clenched my fist and closed my eyes. I heard his car leave my house and I sighed. I sniffled and I turned my head away from the door and saw Mickey wagging his tail. I giggled and picked him up. I kissed his head and he barked.

"Come on, Mic. Let's go watch a movie," I whispered as I went up the stairs and went back to my fake life.

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