Deserter

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My God I want to call you selfish,
I want to shout in your face
I want to grab your wrist that you just cut to ribbons and heal you.
I want you... I want you to live.
Were you okay?
Were you getting help?
I hate you, why do I care?
I hate that I started to care
You hurt her, she's in tear because of you.
She needs you.
Please, she will die without you.
You guys are amazing together in the worst way possible.
She loves you, why isn't it enough?
Sure I call you idiot and dumbass, but that smile. Have you seen her smile? That glow when she talks about you?
She...she needs that.
You deserve that, maybe even more than her.
She's been there for you since the beginning.
Don't you know it kills her to have to call your mom in the middle of the night because you tell her your cutting, not the people that can actually help?
Don't you know she's wished to be in your place a thousand times?
It's killing you both, why can't either of you live?
You deserve it. You more than deserve it.
My God, I hate you.
But she loves you.
Please...
Please...

***

My sisters' dude that's also not her dude just...he just hurt himself. She doesn't know what to do. I'm scared.

I don't have any kisses left.

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