Thoughts Of Me, Sorry.

The Descend

[start reading at 0:10]

as ive said once before, opening one door, locks another behind. i consciously open this door and lock it, i cross my fingers and walk the line. i keep moving forward, but backwards in time. when will i rely on myself, and be on my own. my days seem numbered, and im never not stoned. i get high and start to fly, before i realize im still at rock bottom. there i can see my life, the good,the bad, all the happy, and the sad, the past the present and the future of my descend. and just as fast as that, my roll comes to an end. so i smoke, till im sick. numb and hazed i stumble to the balcony, so that i can smoke, just a little fazed. the smoke clings to my lungs with a strong embrace, holding on to me, so i can get by with a strong face. 

tears damned up so no one can see, im all to myself, just what i need. more time alone,is more time to bleed. i fall, get knocked down, and i stay on my knees, im tired of being me. and i cant let this build i mentally beat myself up,  just so someone would. because i look at myself, the one no one understood, and even now, my reflection is unfamiliar and the boy i once knew, is now the saboteur. 

so i lock this door, and keep my face straight, because not even me can see this defeat. stay strong and happy,and get back up. but is it really that easy, or is it just a load of bluff. cause i move on, with these same bullet holes being filled again. and bleed out on my journey to the descend. i fear that i will never make it, or for once maybe im already there. maybe this is the great downfall, that made everyone stare, i got up after being knocked down, but this time was harder than ever before.

tears damned up so no one can see, im all to myself, just what i need. more time alone,is more time to bleed. i fall, get knocked down, and i stay on my knees, im tired of being me. and i cant let this build, i mentally beat myself up, just so someone would. because i look at myself, the one no one understood, and even now, my reflection is unfamiliar and the boy i once knew, is now the saboteur.