Beautifully Broken

28

Mina

I'm kind of nervous about giving my testimony. It's been a few months since I've gone to church again and my life has changed so much.

I've seen God work in my life and though they're not the way I'd expect, they're pretty amazing.

Mom and dad have been getting closer and I feel more like a proud friend than their daughter. It's like their love story has set a redo and they're falling in love all over again.

They sit together with the Ramsey's and smile proudly at me. I take the mic from a man and look at Annika in the front row who gives me a wink.

I take a deep breath. God, help me.

I smile at everyone and let out a big, "Hi." A few laugh softly and it gives me more confidence.

"Things happened pretty fast yet also seemed to be slow in unraveling. I entitled myself to be a broken, unreachable girl." I start out, looking to the back doors. A girl my age walks in and she smiles at me. I nod in her direction and watch as Jennifer sits down at the back. "My family was broken. We might have been living in such a beautiful and homey house but the family inside was nothing like a home. My mom-"

I pause and look at her. She gives me a thumbs up and a nod with her permission. "She was always busy. She flew to so many different states for her job and didn't have time for me. She was escaping her own problems and leaving me to mine. My dad, he was physically present but absent in all other areas. He didn't treat me like a daughter. He treated me like I was nothing." My voice breaks as I remember those days. The pain, the brokenness, the helplessness, the loneliness. "I was so young when this started but I grew up with it and I believe it made me stronger. But it never made me better. I kept it from everyone I could. Long story short, this year for senior year, things changed for the worst. Rumors that were actually true, spread throughout the school and I was labeled, mocked and shooed away. Things got worse with my dad and though my mom was trying to reconnect, I was stubborn. I played along thinking it wouldn't last. It was just another game and I was the toy."

I pause again and see my parents with tears down their faces.

"But then- then my best friend after all these years forced me to tell him what was going on. He respected me when I chose to not tell him but that moment, I did and-" Cole gives me a thumbs up, his eyes shining with tears to. "I was welcomed. I didn't have to act or hide anything after all. His family brought me in all over again and he always told me he'd never be scared off from my life. Annika,"

I turn to look at her and she smiles proudly. "my next best friend, encouraged me and stood by me all these years even if she only knew the shallow part of the story. She and the Ramsey's encouraged me to go to church again. I was reminded that I an loved, accepted and enough. That if God loves me so much, I can love too. He forgave me and I can forgive too. He's been showing me that the messed up parts in life can be part of the best days when you let Him work it all out. I never would've valued family or friends as much as I do now if I didn't go through all that. I'm not saying you have to go through my experiences but sometimes when you have no choice but to be in those moments, you just have to trust that He can turn the broken into beautiful."

I hear a resounding applause and amen as I walk off the stage and into Annika's arms.

"I'm so proud of you. Just standing up to do some public speaking but spiritually is a major challenge you overcame." She says, squeezing me.

I laugh nervously. "I know. I was shaking."

She leads me back into the row. "Annika, Jennifer's here."