Better Than Milkshakes, Better Than Boys (girlxgirl)

[13]

"Project time!"

I groan internally when my physics teacher, a pot bellied, balding man called Mr. Robinson, slams a sheet of paper down in front of me on my desk. I've already had to put up with his tone deaf voice droning on and on about doppler and red shift and blue shift. Just thinking about it is scrambling my brain and the last thing I need right now is a long ass project, especially with the first game of the season this Saturday. I can't afford to split my time between soccer and schoolwork, so this project couldn't have come at a worse time.

I peer at the title and scowl when I realise it's an essay about The Big Bang theory. I read that it's an argumentative essay about if the formation of the universe is more acceptable than the Steady State theory. It's a topic I find interesting but at the same time I really don't want to have to write a four page essay on it.

I watch as Mr. Robinson struts around the room and hands out sheets of paper to the pairs of my classmates sharing desks, going on about how we need to work with the person next to us to write a detailed essay about our topic title, and come up with an argument for and against it's uses. "You will work together to write the introduction and the explanations of both theories, but write your arguments separately, meaning that if you don't complete your half of the project, your partners grade will suffer as well as yours. Don't forget to paraphrase your evidence, and if I find out you copied your essay from somewhere online your mark will immediately be zero for your pairing, regardless of if it was only one of you who cheated."

I glare at my sheet of paper, knowing I'm actually going to have to do work or I'll fail, and my partner will be furious with me. Hopefully we have a while to do it, so I can start and finish it this weekend. That way I can dedicate the week to soccer and the weekend to my grades.

I freeze up when I realise who my partner is.

"Looks like I have an excuse to see you outside of school now, what with you avoiding me, donut." I cringe when I hear that Clay's voice is humorous whilst saying my nickname, but his icy eyes are glinting with obvious annoyance. I look at him to see his face set in stone, his strong jaw clenched as he looks at me and waits a respone. His strong arms are resting on the desk, arms flexed as he taps a pencil against his chin, his head slightly tilted to one side as he waits for me to speak. He sighs, running a hands through his unruly hair before dropping it onto the desk. "You're barely acting like we're friends anymore, Alex, let alone my girlfriend. What the hell is going on?"

If anyone thought our relationship was bad before, trust me it is now only worsening as time goes on. We've been barely speaking to each other, and its been over a week since I actually texted him about something that didn't involve physics homework. That night at the party has really put things into perspective, from Mackenzie kissing me to me waking up and finding out about the fact I drunkenly had sex with Clay, and the last two weeks have really given me time to think about things. What I said to Faye and April about wanting to make things work, everything I said was true. But that night spiralled out of my control and now whenever I look at Clay, I know deep in my chest that we don't work anymore, and nothing either of us do will change that. I have a crush, albeit a small one, on another person and if I was invested in Clay like I should be those feelings would never have come about.

We're both stuck in a relationship we don't want but neither of us has the courage to end it. I sigh and look into his pained eyes, knowing that I'm going to have to grow a vagina, woman up, and tell him what's going on in my head.

I owe it to the both of us.

I run a hand over my face and look at my boyfriend, knowing it'll be better to sort this sooner rather than later. "I have practice after school, but I'll come round as soon as its finished. We have a lot to talk about and I don't think fourth period physics is the best place to do it."