The Silent Deceivers

Chapter 19

Full Circle

The next two weeks passed relatively easily, there was no more interrogation which was pleasing but there was also no news. My life went back to the sickening reality I had created for myself.  Connor and I made up with quite a lot of snogging and picked up where we left off and Roxy and I continued to do each other’s make up and nick each other’s new leather jacket or black crop tops. The only thing different was the amount of alcohol I consumed during the gangs meetings. Apparently my addiction level had risen from moderate to severe. The amount of time Connor escorted me back to my bedroom was extremely embarrassing! Every morning after he visited with painkillers, water and food which were all very well received. Every morning after I would be called into the office and every morning after I would be given the responsibility speech.  My drinking began to get more and more out of control the nearer David’s Funeral got. The night before Lisa and Andy put me under house arrest and banned me from going out to see my friends. I wouldn’t have admitted it then but looking back now I’m grateful they did.  It was the beginning of August but it sure didn’t feel like it, it didn’t even look like it. Rain was streaming down the window panes and the wind was howling so loud it was impossible to get to sleep that night, not that I normally get much sleep anyway. That night I sat on my bed, wrapped in my duvet with my headphones glued to my ear, piecing together a playlist of sad songs. When daylight came I got up and texted Roxy. The day of David’s Funeral had arrived. It was one of those days where I tucked myself tightly into my security blanket of my own little world, my word of shutting down. I sat down at my desk, I picked up my mascara and surveyed it, tossing it side to side. I looked up confused, as Andy popped his head in to see if I was awake. After registering that I was he came in and perched on the end of my bed. Silence passed, I wasn’t going to talk to him. He kept his gaze firmly fixed on me before telling me that I had been booked in for an extra counsellor session because of the traumatic circumstances. I nodded and then he left. That’s the good thing about Andy, he knows when he’s reached a dead end. I drew back my curtains to find a dull grey sky and the rain still tumbling down. Luckily the wind had died down but the trail of destruction was apparent. Trees were lying lifeless and broken barricading the path and crushing the bushes underneath. As I stood staring out the window, I heard my door creak open once again and footsteps cross the room to stop directly next to me. I glanced across, Roxy was staring out the window taking in the destruction too.

“I take it you didn’t sleep outside last night.” I stated.

“Not a chance, I stayed here. Aden crashed at Connors.” She told me.

“Oh right.” I replied.

“Want any help getting ready?” She asked.

I nodded. After jumping in and out of the shower in under fifteen minutes, I went back to my room where Roxy began to style my hair. I ended up with waves that fell softly down my back and onto my shoulders. My fringe was straightened and then clipped to the side, enabling me for a while to only have vision on my right side until she had sorted it out. Then she designed my make-up, dark smoky eyes, soft pink lips. As I sat there letting her get rid of my black circle underneath my eyes, my phone buzzed. Roxy grabbed it and tossed it to me which I successfully caught one handed. The text was from Abby, stating that I was allowed to come to the funeral but it was because David would’ve wanted me there. She made it clear she didn’t want me there, she still blamed me but right in that moment I didn’t care. I chucked my phone back onto my bed and then climbed into my short black dress. Roxy had just zipped it up just when Lisa came in and told us it was time to go. I sighed, picked up my black clutch and my phone and trailed after her downstairs with Roxy by my side. We said goodbye and then Lisa and I made our way down the drive to start the twenty minute silent drive back to St Mary’s Church. Throughout the entire drive, I was thinking how ironic it was that before my parent’s died, I hadn’t been to St Mary’s Church once and now, now I’d been to the church twice in the space of a few months.