35| go get your girl

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April 23rd, 2021

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April 23rd, 2021.

"Do you want to meet up later?" the girls name that I have already forgotten spoke to me, as she began picking up her clothes that had been thrown across the floor an hour ago.

"No, you can fuck off now," I scoffed at her as I held the door open for her. She pouted her smeared red lips at me as she rushed out into the hallway.

"Another girl?" Everett asked me annoyed. I rolled my eyes at him, picking up my white button up shirt and dressing myself. "What's up your ass?" I asked him defensively.

"I just don't understand you. You come here, moody as fuck, smoking weed with me, hooking up with girls from their school, and drinking all day. Then, last month I found you balling like a baby in the bathroom about some fucking Alexandra girl, claiming that she'll never wake up or that she'll never love you again. Now, your back to the way you used to be, fucking every girl you see and drinking into the early hours of the morning. So, what's wrong?" Everett asked me in his deep British accent, his tone softer towards the end.

I broke. My features crumbled and my mask fell off. It's been four months since the accident and she still hasn't woken up. I'm beginning to lose hope now. Sleeping around and pretending that those girls are my Lexi, day drinking and doing drugs once again. It's a coping mechanism. I know that it's harsh what I do to those girls, but they give me consent.

I miss her so damn much. I didn't realise I could miss someone this much. It's like a craving. I need to see her face, I need to feel her soft touch, and I need to hear her angelic laugh. But I can't, not anymore.

Everett and I have become fast friends once again, even though we both come from different backgrounds. He's a foster kid, but his foster parents are rich as fuck. They decided to do something noble for the public eye, and that's why they fostered two kids. Everett Kaine and Rowan Sutton. I've only met Rowan once or twice, but she's feisty bitch. She's cool though, I think she'd get along well with Alexandra. Fucking hell, whatever I do or think it always leads back to her. Always.

Everett's arms wrap around me in an awkward hug; he's not one for affection or sincerity. He let me have my moment, not saying anything to console because he simply didn't understand how to do that. But I let him know what's been happening in my fucked up world.

I tell him about how I got arrested at the party after taking some hardcore pills. I tell him how my parents went ballistic, even if it was just my dad really. I tell him how scared I was because I didn't want to let anyone down, especially my mom and Sofia.

I then tell him about how I asked Alexandra to be my fake girlfriend, he chuckled a bit at that. I tell him about how much of a bitch she used to be, but I somehow managed to break through her hard exterior. I tell him about how when we first kissed, it felt as if a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I felt invincible after that kiss. I tell him about during gym class when Jackson and Vanessa began saying such hurtful things to Alexandra, that they physically hurt me too. I tell him how I fought Jackson, and because he's such a fucking pussy he could barley fight me back. And then how I went to her penthouse, to see her curled up into a little ball on her bed, surrounded by many blankets.

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