Even In Pieces [bxb]

Chapter 1

Zachary

Dear universe I know you hate me, just so we're clear the feeling is absolutely mutual.

It's like one of those situations where someone's grandma dies, and you are supposed to be feeling sad about it but in reality you don't feel all that sad. Because it's not your grandma. Not like my grandma is dying. She is already long gone to hell. Thank god.

What I am getting at is that this is one of those situations where I should feel bad or at least pretend to feel bad, but me being the jerk that I am, I don't. I am too tired to deal with any of this; the consequences of my actions. All I can think about is taking a sip of the coffee in front of me that I paid for before it gets cold.

“That's it? You are just going to be indifferent about this?” Noah asks.

He doesn't even try to hide the frustration from his voice. I can't blame him. In all honesty, I would be frustrated myself if I had to deal with me on a Saturday evening in any scenario where I am not in my room with beer and Netflix.

“Yeah. It's okay with me,” I say back.

“Are you fucking kidding me! You won't even ask me why!?” he asks me, trying not to raise his voice.

What did this motherfucker expect? For me to get on my knees and blow him in the middle of the café? The image flashes through my mind and I almost let out a laugh before I realize the situation I am stuck in.

I stare at him. Noah is handsome. No doubt about it. Dark hair, warm brown eyes which are blazing at this moment, sharp jaw and what I notice most is his lips. It's always soft when it glides against mine. But never have I ever thought about the man being with me when I wake up in the morning tomorrow or a month from now. I wake up alone in a small bed meant only for me; I prefer it that way.

“Will me asking or saying anything change this situation?” I ask nonchalantly.

He snorts. “No, Because you are an asshole who forgets that he has a boyfriend unless you want to fuck.”

He makes it sound like he wasn't desperate to be all over me every fucking hour of the night and sometimes day too.

“You knew exactly what kind of asshole I am and still got into a relationship with me,” I tell him.

Noah narrows his eyes. If looks could kill I would be six feet under. It sounds like a sweet place to be compared to here. But, this mam knew what he was getting into when he wanted to date me, I had told him very clearly how much I suck at keeping relationships.

“Yeah. My fucking mistake.” he snaps and gets up and leaves without a backward glance.

I sigh and lean back in my chair. I inhale the dark, rich and sweet smell of the café. Not many people are here and that's precisely why I chose this café. I take a sip of the coffee from my cup and frown. It's cold. Damn it. I slide my chair back, get up and leave the café.

At least the café is close to the dorms. So I don't have to take a cab. Money saved is money earned. I walk slowly, taking my time, but my mind is thinking about the shower I desperately need. I am hitting the shower as soon as I reach my dorm room. The streets are busy as always. The air is dry, and I can't wait to be inside my room.