jocelyn • zm (english translation)

II| descended from angels

''Did you know this lake belongs to the fairies?'' Asked Jocelyn.

''I didn't know. Really?''

She looked at the great lake red by the sunset as Theo did. When they sit at a high point in the forest, they can see all the spots in the lake that look like sheets. It seemed like a painter's paint to the reality. There was no one but them and there was no voice but with the hum of the warm wind and the sound of the forest. Maybe Jocelyn hasn't been this peaceful. She didn't like to come to the forest alone -because her father upset with her about that- but she was happy sitting in here with Thoe who came often for massage for a long time. She hasn't a friend before. But since the God brought Theo before her, she had come to meet most of the things she lacked. Even the pain of losing her mother was not as much in her heart as before. Theo helped her a lot with this. Because he lost his mother too. It was the same pain in deep.

''Thousands of years ago a woman left her baby in this lake. The pain of women was so big, fairies sad about and they appeared to her. They told, they claimed the baby and that they will keep alive the baby in this lake forever now and nobody's gonna hurt baby. Some people heard the cries of a baby when they were around the lake."

''Did you ever heard?'' Asked Theo.

She shooked her head. ''I've come here often but no. But I believe that the ferries keeping alive the baby.''

Theo laughs at. ''I think it's just a myth. Can't be real.''

''Why not? I believe miracles.'' Said Jocelyn and laugh like him and the prince felt his heart tremble. The girl standing in front of him was very beautiful, he couldn't stop looking at her, and his eyes were fixed on her as usual.

Jocelyn was embarrassed by these looks, again and said ''It'll be dark soon. We better go.''

When she said that Theo holds her arm and prevented her from getting up. ''Let's stay a little longer.''

''But we can cross with bandits at dark.''

Theo smiled and shrug his shoulders with a reckless attitude. ''You should know that I fight very well, Jocelyn. The bandits shouldn't cross with me.''

When Jocelyn laugh, Zayn laugh at too.
''Soo you fight very well? But that men have weapons.''

''I have a weapon too.''

She views him. ''Where is it?''

''I don't carry my big weapons.'' He showed the little knife wore on his wrist when he pulling his pant. ''I will never be imprudent.''

Most of the time she is not paid attention to what he said. But Zayn never lied to her but his name and real I.D.

''Still, we should go.'' She said with grief. ''My father will be wondering about me.''

''We can go if you give me a promise we will meet here again tomorrow.''

She smiled when looked away. ''So my word is yours.''

''Good.'' Said Theo and he gets up with pleasure. ''I'll come to the house on other days. My back will be hurt.''

''My message is not effective, guess so?''

When Jocelyn gets up too, she shook the weeds caught in his skirt and they put the first step the way back.

''It is. But after a couple of days, the pain starts again. Thank God, I saw you. I couldn't move on without your healing hands.''

Jocelyn smiled and didn't take his word seriously. But Zayn wasn't lying to her again.

•••

''The Queen called me.''

She said to the guardians at the door. When these two guards, who never left the Queen's side, ran their creepy gaze over Jocelyn, not only did they open up her box of oils and examine them. At that time the Queen's favorite maid searched her with her hands. They were looking for the cutting tool or poison but they could find nothing. So the doors opened for her and she entered the bath where the steams danced. Jocelyn bowed respectfully in front of Queen Lousia, who was seated naked on the blue-veined marble, studied her with scornful eyes.

''You asked me to visit you, Your Majesty.'' Said quailtly. ''Do you have pain?''

''No, I've just wanted to wash me.''

Washing Queen it wasn't her job. She have to do what she asked beacuse she wasn't possision who is gonna against her. It wasn't a first time, already.

She walked over to her after she dropping the box in a suitable place. Louisa watched her sharply as she took a golden bowl of water to pour water on her skin, softened by the steam. She was watching her when she around all the time. She thought of what made her such an important person, but as she watched, she couldn't find anything. She was one of the most ordinary women she had ever seen in her life. She never laughed, wandering in the palace with her dull face adorned by her eyes looking with false sincerity. She wasn't pretty even as she. While she was famous for her beauty all over the land, she could not be worthy of this woman. This woman is a daughter of the peasant men. This woman was nothing. This woman never left a mark in this world. Even if all this was true, it seemed that the mark she lived on her husband's heart had never been erased.

She slowly let the hot water down the queen's smooth shoulders. What a beautiful woman, she thought when she does that. She must be a descendant of angels. Her long blonde hair fell out to her waist, her healthy and milky skin turned her into a swan. And her eyes like the sky. A Queen should seem like that.

After a few bowls of water, when her whole body was wet, she put the rose-scented soap, which was specially made in the palace, over the queen. And then she kindly scrubs her body with a sponge.

''Make sure you cleaned well.'' Said Queen with a cold attitude. '' I'll go to the King after this. God knows, maybe he leaves another child in my womb with his seeds.''

She replies with a smile. "I hope you have another healthy child for our country, Your Majesty."

There was a bitter smile on Louisa's lips. ''Unfortunately, I can give a thousand children to him but it wasn't the same as your bastard.'' When she said "Did you know I thought about killing Jonah so many times?'' the bowl in her hand fell loudly on the ground. She couldn't stop shaking her hands when she takes the bowl from the ground with saying sorry. But she kept washing the Queen with as nothing happens. The woman's gaze was far away.

"I wanted his die. Even so many times I thought that poisoned him.'' She left a breath. "But I knew I'll be the first person my husband suspects for small trouble that happens to you or your bastard. I left this thought a few days ago."

''You have a big heart, Your Majesty.''

As the queen grasped her wrist strongly, she raised her gaze to her blue eyes. She was seeing anguish mixed with anger in there.

"Damn your kind words! Tell me your true feelings for once. I confessed to you that I wanted to kill your bastard.''

She couldn't say her true feelings. If she tells, she knew it'll end with death. There wasn't use talking anyway, over the years she had gotten used to being quiet.

''Thank God for we had your mercy. Long live Majesty.''

When the queen's eyes were full, she turned her head to the other side and let out another wheezing breath. She seemed like a little girl when she does that.

''I hate you to death. Even that I'm waiting for your death before your bastard. That day, it'll be my happiest day.''

''I hope that I can make you happy as soon as possible.'' Said Jocelyn with truly. She was going to pour the newly bought water on the Queen but stopped when the Queen raised his hand.

''I want you to leave.''

She left the golden bowl on the marble and joined her hands and greeted it, and take the wooden box then left the bath. With every step she took towards her room, the unbearable burden on her heart increased.