jocelyn • zm (english translation)

IV| more than anything

When the snow falls, a peaceful silence comes with it, as this whole world fell into a deep sleep. She opened her palm as the light cotton-like grains floated slowly from the sky and watched a snowflake who is falling in her glove. Every time, despite all the terrible hassle it brought, she loved the winter more. She was cold. Her every point got wet when she and the prince had just buried each other under the snow but that was fine. Happiness overflowed from her body, as the silence of nature was pierced by the laughter of the two.

''I've memorized another poem for you,'' Zayn said.

As she looked at him with a smile, saw the Prince looking at her with admiration.

''A Chinese poem. They called Eternal Sorrow. It's about the loyal love of the Chinese king and his servant for each other. It was long. So I've just memorized the last part.''

''Tell me.'' She said excitedly. Zayn would give her a new poem written in distant lands every time he came because she loved it.

''He asked the messenger to bring a message.
The message contained a word that only the two of them would know.
They swore in the middle of the night when nobody's around, far away from the crowd, on Valentine's Day in Longevity Hall.
Two birds flying side by side in the sky,
We'll be tightly wrapped branches of a tree on the ground.
At the end of the days, even heaven and earth disappear.
But the endless sorrow of our separation will always last."

''Will not they happy? Why it's a sad poem?''

''Love and sad cannot separate from each other, it's like that all the time.''

When he gently pulling back a wet strand of hair that had fallen in front of Jocelyn, disappeared in the golden spots inside her leaf-green eyes.

''But I'm full of joy. It shouldn't be that bad.''

He lowered his hand from her hair to her soft cheek. This touch burned their hearts. They didn't feel cold anymore.

''I want you to know that I love you.'' Prince said.

He was more sure than ever of his feelings, towards this young girl who had a place in his life for more than a year. He was feeling that he can be a human when with her. His name, his family, his responsibilities... It didn't matter any of this for him when he with her.

A sad smile grew up on Jocelyn's lips. She did understand the poem now. Where there was love, there was sadness, certainly. Because, most of the time, the truth was just sadness.

''You'll have to leave me one day.''

''It's not gonna happen. I'll marry you when I become a King. Nobody can against the King's orders, can't they?''

She was an ordinary girl born in an ordinary village. She chose to believe these words in the face of his sincerity even she knows deep down can't marry a King. She left the truth in the dark corners of her mind when she rejoiced in the battle of sadness and happiness and let the Prince kiss her, who brought his face closer to her.

•••

''Why don't you love me?'' Jonah asked.

He dropped to his knees and bowed his head when he looked timidly at his Queen mother's dagger-like blue eyes. Asked again.

''Why don't you love me?''

Queen Louise remained silent and turned her face to another corner. Even couldn't bear to look after this kid. Lookin' at him just remembered her that damn woman. Her eyes, hair color, facial features.... He got everything from that woman.