Everything Will Be Okay

Plans

He couldn't understand it, he really just couldn't. Everyone had pinned him as some lowlife who would never amount to anything. His parents gave up on him as did his friends, even his teachers, when he was only 11. So, he dropped out; it only made sense because they were right. He was a nobody and he was always going to be a nobody. He could remember that day so vividly, like it had just happened yesterday. His father ripping him a new one with a bottle of beer in his hands. He couldn't focus on what he was saying, all he could feel was his hands around his neck.

"How the fuck did I get stuck with a useless, good-for-nothing son like you, Adam?" His father sneered, dropping him to the floor and slamming the door shut as he left. They were right, he shouldn't burden his family like this. Slowly, he crawled to the ragged, old sleeping bag on the floor, pulling out a knife that he always kept with him just in case. Just in case he got the courage to do it. He wasn't sure if he was going to end it, he just needed something that helped relieve the pain and he heard this worked. So, apprehensively, he brought the knife to his forearm and left a long thin cut closer to the crook of his elbow. At first, it felt as if it didn't do much but as he dared closer to his wrist, he felt a rush of adrenaline hit him that urged him to keep going, to cut deeper. So he did, and that's when a 12-year-old decided that no one would miss him anyway, so why prolong the inevitable?

He adjusted the knife in his hand, ready to use the tip to cut along the artery, to just bleed out on the dirty floor. It was a death he deserved and just as the knife was pressed against his skin, he noticed black writing on the back of his right hand. 'Please stop. Are you okay?' it read and that's when everything hit him. Adam, a 12-year-old child, was about to end it all knowing full well he had a soulmate. Adam, an ignorant child, left these disgusting marks on his soulmate.

The knife clattered to the ground and he all but scrambled to the desk. He knew he had a soulmate, he would usually wake up with random marks on his body that looked like bruises or scrapes but didn't hurt or bleed. And yet, he had still done this. He had essentially forced his soulmate to watch him try to end it. Grabbing the sharpie from the old desk that was falling apart, he pulled off the lid and wrote 'I'm sorry' with a shaky hand. His soulmate's handwriting was much better than his.

That night, he sat by the desk, staring at the knife with wide, tearful eyes. He hadn't stopped crying since his soulmate wrote to him and he couldn't bring himself to see what they said. His arm stung and he wrapped it in a t-shirt he didn't care much for but he could feel the writings appear on his skin, he just couldn't look. And so he didn't. It took him 2 months to get the courage to write him back, another quick apology and that was it. But just to do that, it made him want to puke and he hoped by some cosmic chance, his soulmate would be given to someone else. He didn't deserve them and he never will. How could he after that shit show? They should be with someone who could not only take care of them but also someone who wasn't so mentally fucked up they wanted to kill themselves.

This was Corpse's mentality for years. It never went away and if anything, it only got worse as he got older. He no longer went by 'Adam' and cut everyone out of his life who knew him by that, family included. He moved out the second he could, basically squatting with some old friends. At that time, he was sure he could've been labeled as mentally insane. But he decided to start a youtube channel, Corpse Husband, that actually did fairly well to the point where he could afford his own apartment in Southern California. After that, things only continued to go downhill. He spent his days locked in his place, working on scary stories that were his only source of income at 17 years old. One day, he woke up with a message from Mykie, the YouTuber alternatively known as Glam and Gore. She expressed how much she liked his scary story narrations and asked if he could do a narration for one of her videos. He agreed and it took about a week to narrate and put the video together completely but after that, the two had become close friends. Corpse's only friend at the time.