Inescapable History, Inescapable Fates

Guatemala

guatemala britain belize genocide

Over the last few days, Henry had typed those four words into his search bar so many times it was now his first suggestion. It had taken him and Pez two hours of research to figure out what Arthur Fox had been doing in Belize in the 1980s; the West buries it's crimes well. That was Alex's voice in his head. They had been having arguments about Henry's internship and Alex's drinking and trying to pretend they didn't notice all the things they couldn't talk about. All the things they couldn't talk about were what they were actually arguing about and Henry's head hurt. But now, at least he understood why Alex was so self-righteously angry.

Between 1965 and 1980, a Guatemalan military dictatorship that had been trained, armed, and paid by the United States murdered thousands of Mayan indigenous people and leftists. Britain stationed one thousand five hundred troops in Belize to track down and kill leftist rebels and political opponents of the regime who fled over the border seeking safety. The dictatorship was capitalist, and the indigenous people were easily swayed to leftism, so it made sense in the context of the Cold War.

Henry's dad would have been young, he went into the military before he went to college. He was a nineteen year old with no power over where he went or what he did. What Alex couldn't understand was that the British soldiers were in an impossible situation too. They were also victims of bad decisions made by higher-ups. That is what Henry told himself. Pez pointed out that it probably didn't matter to Alex. Because at the end of the day, the British troops chose to be part of the British military. Belizeans and Guatemalans didn't choose to be in a war zone or under a genocidal dictatorship.

Henry felt guilty and angry and like he still didn't know anything. How did Alex fit into any of this? Maybe he didn't have to. Maybe he was just a poor kid from Belize and Sandhurst was his best opportunity to get a secondary education even though he hated it.

But he had that gun.

Alex was lounging, shirtless, on his bed, chewing his pencil as he studied, oblivious to Henry's moral crisis. Henry preferred to carry his books in orderly stacks to the library to study, but Alex studied on his bed, or on the floor, or sitting on his desk, apparently unable to properly use a chair. Which was pretty gay, Henry's brain supplied unhelpfully. He wanted to ask if Alex hated him. He was pretty sure he knew the answer. He wanted to know if he deserved to be hated. All week he had shown up to the M15 annex and done what was asked. He sifted through classified files, finding lists of targets for his bosses, his father's friends, and didn't ask whether they were terrorists or victims. So maybe that was his answer.

"Is it just me, or is it super fucking hot in here today?" Alex asked, glancing up from his notebook.

Henry took in his tousled curls and intense gaze, "It's definitely you." He muttered without thinking, then immediately flushed. Had he said that out loud? Christ, he had actually said that out loud.

"Oh." Alex said, shifting uncomfortably. Henry was in the middle of a moral crisis, but apparently his dick was on a different page altogether, possibly a different book.

"Or actually, I kind of feel it- it might be hot... Um... you can open the window.. Because yes hot. Um.." Alex looked at Henry like he was actively pulling live snakes from his throat. Henry felt like he was pulling live snakes from his throat. Henry stood, suddenly, and opened the window. "There. Better."

Alex squinted at him. "Henry. Buddy. It's eighty degrees out. That's not gonna help."

Henry flushed even redder and threw up his hands. "Then go to the library or something Alex, I can't fix the weather."

"Ok, ok, god," Alex shouted back, "I was just making a comment on the temperature but whatever."

Henry didn't answer, instead escaping to the bathroom and taking a cold shower to wash away his embarrassment. Deep breaths. When he got out, Alex had left.

He also had a text from Hunter, a boy he had fucked the year before,

Hunter Top 6.5

Im bored wyd?

Henry

Nothing. Come over.

He needed to get Alex out of his head before he decided what to do about M15 or Belize.