Favorite Poison

Don't Want to Fall in Love

Am I out of my damn mind?! Adella thought as she paced back and forth in her living room. Guilt ate away at her like rot on a fallen tree. Leaving her more and more hollow as time passes till she completely broke down. She texted Emily a few minutes ago desperately asking her to come over. Then quickly regretted it thinking about her and Shane talking at the saloon on her next shift.

Maybe it'll be a good thing telling Emily this. At least then she'll be able to speak to him on my behalf. Adella re-evaluated her decision noticing her pulse slowing down from a break neck speed. What if he'll think that I'm using her so I don't have to tell him myself? That would be a bitch move, wouldn't it?

To be fair, he made advances after being told no multiple times. The farmer paused agreeing with her own point. But then you had to go and flirt with your best friend and now you caught feelings!

Her self deprecation was put on hold as she answered the door.

"I came as quickly as I could." Emily stated as she greeted her friend with a hug.

"Oh my Yoba, thank you." Adella sighed hugging back, "We have a problem."

"I wouldn't have guessed by the several misspelt messages you sent me." She joked to gauge how serious the situation is.

Adella didn't laugh.

"Sorry," Emily apologized, "What's the problem?"

"I might've acknowledged the fact to Shane that we have an 'unspoken thing.'" Adella confessed using air quotes.

"Adella!" She gasped like a parent surprised at her misbehaving child, "You didn't tell him you liked him did you?"

"No." Adella reassured her friend seeing her relax a bit, "I couldn't."

The farmer struts to her kitchen to grab a cold one from her fridge. Emily follows her pointing out the silver lining.

"That's a good thing though!" She grabs onto a chair thinking about sitting down.

"Yeah, but it complicates everything," Adella pops off the cap on the bottle before taking a sip, "I honestly don't know what it is about Shane that I go gaga over."

"Well, you two can be assholes at times." She admitted as she sat down at the table.

"Gee, thanks." Adella scoffed leaning up against the counter.

"I'm just stating a fact!" Emily defended, "To be fair, you two were at a similar mindset when you first met each other and you guys have similar personalities."

She nodded agreeing and taking another sip, "Yeah, I guess but that was one of the reasons I left the city. To avoid another person like that and now... I might've become that person."

"Adella don't be so hard on yo—"

"No Emily, I am going to be hard on myself because it's true." Adella exploded slamming her bottle down on the counter.

Silence filled the kitchen as a game of chicken was playing out between the two women, waiting to see who will break the silence first.

Holding back tears, Adella spoke first, "Harvey deserves so much better," she blurted letting a few tears stream down her face, "Maybe I should break up with him."

"I think that might be the best thing to do," Emily agreed with a nod, "Just to sort your feelings out."

The farmer nodded at her statement wiping her tear stained cheeks. The silver lining in this case to finally sort her feelings out free of distractions.

"Want me to keep Shane away while you figure this out? You and I both know that he's gonna ask about you." She mentioned.

"Only if he's really bugging you about it."Adella stated finishing her drink, "I don't want him to feel guilty after finding out I broke up with Harvey because of him."

"Got it, and what about Harvey?"

"I can't blatantly tell him I might have feelings for Shane." She pointed out, "The man told me he loves me after he watched his mother die, I don't have the heart to tell him I need a break let alone the several times Shane and I kissed and flirted. Maybe this whole thing isn't a good idea." Adella panicked turning away from Emily leaning over the counter.

"It is." She demanded hitting the table with each syllable, "Adella, this has been eating away at you for over two seasons. You keep saying that you'll permanently friendzone Shane but I've yet to see it." Emily walks over to her and turns her around, "You need this break more than anything unless you somehow see a sign leading you to whomever you're destined with, take the time away to focus on you."

Calmed down, Adella felt invigorated by her friend's speech. It didn't feel like the right thing but it's a move to prevent more pain and trouble in the future.

"You're right," she nodded hugging Emily, "Ugh, don't ever fall in love, Em."

"I don't plan on it happening soon." She hugged back with a comforting sigh.

-<~***~>-

-*Author's Note: Hey it's your friendly neighborhood writer here! I apologize for not posting as much I did. I caught up with other projects outside of writing, but don't worry! Other installments are in the works I just need to find the motivation to put them together. On that note, I hope you're all doing well and stay safe! :).*-