Sincerely,

Letter One

August 19, 2021

Hey there!

Hi! How are you? Are you doing fine now? I hope you are.

You know what today is? Well, probably you do. It's the tsunami wave before graduation. The final steps are always the hardest just like the first ones. Today, I don't really know what's going on. We just finished a day of our online on-the-job training. It's our third week but it's a total chaos inside my head. I have no idea with the topics being discussed. I mean, I am listening. I am taking screenshots. I am writing some notes. But it just doesn't seem to sink in. Electrical System Design has a lot of *pasikot-sikot* as well as the Philippine Electrical Code which has almost a thousand of pages or maybe even more. I'm not even sure where to focus. You know, after our meeting, our thesis and PreBoard 2 awaits. I don't know where to start and I can't figure out how to move forward.

This was one of the hardest times. Rain starts to fall from my eyes everytime I think about the situation I'm in. I should be holding holding science books instead of a calculator. I should be researching about plant and animals species not about generators and powerplants. I should be having fun with nature instead of spending hours with an unsolved transmission lines and other math problems.

Why did I even choose Electrical Engineering in the first place?

Because of resistors and soldering irons. Plus I'm that clueless about the universities way back. I don't have any idea what college might bring. I am not sure about the things I love. I know what they are but I didn't realize, they should be the one I pursued. The university I got into produces board passers and even top notchers on board exams. And it's a state university so we don't have to worry about our tuition fees. It is a good university, yes. But I feel so damn lost. When you are doing something you love, you will never get tired of doing it even when you're struggling so hard. Because at the end of the day, when you overcome a certain problem you will be satisfied and happy. That is definitely not my case. After arriving into an answer, I'll let out a sigh of relief but something is missing. I can't get excited for the next step because I know, I am not having even a little bit of fun. Math isn't my thing but I'm an engineering student. I am more into Biology, Zoology and Botany but I am not able to study what I really love. It hurts.

I haven't got the slightest idea on where is this taking me but I believe in His plans for me. I made a lot of memories during my stay in the university and I met people who taught me things about life. I am sure those aren't just pure coincidences. I trust Him.

However, I can't help myself and I still wonder every now and then.

Where is this road taking me?

Do you know?

I better end this here. Gotta go. Stay safe and healthy! Take care. bye byee~

Sincerely,

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