30. Regret

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My sister's funeral was earlier today. She was my little sister, practically still a baby. She didn't deserve to die, and not the way that she did- mangled, crushed flat and churned up under a car's wheels. They wouldn't let us see the body.

I haven't told my parents it was a suicide yet. I should tell someone, at least, because no one believes the driver when he tells them that she honestly did jump into the road out of nowhere. An innocent man's life is being ruined because of my sister's selfishness.

I told her she was being selfish, and I told her she would regret it, but I honestly didn't think that she would do it. I thought she was too young to mean something as serious as that. The guilt is incredible- you wouldn't believe it. I wasn't there for her, and I should have been.

I should have helped her, and I didn't.

I don't know if I can live with it- maybe she had the right idea.

I was right about one thing, though: her regretting it. I could hear her crying in the coffin all the way through the service.

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