I kissed my brother

V. D-193

It was our second dinner together as a family. And the mood couldn't be any more tense.
I was sitting next to my Mum on our new dining table and opposite from Daichi. 
It was quiet with the only noise being the forks scratching the expensive looking plates. 
I felt like I was in the wrong movie. The house looked too expensive, the plates looked too expensive. I was still wondering how Eito was able to provide for all this with being only a teacher. Yes a teacher at a private school but there was just no way he was rich from just that job. 
Eventhough he was my family now it didn't feel right to ask. He had already avoided my question the last time I had asked and my Mum also didn't seem pleased. Maybe I could get more information from Daichi about his family's wealth. 
"Can I go to my room now?", I asked when I finished with what was supposed to be my dinner. 
"Sure", Eito said and exchanged a look with my Mum.
"Sydney, there is still something I want to talk about", my Mum said when I was already about to leave the uncomfortable atmosphere in the dining area.
I rolled my eyes and sighed.
"If this has anything to do with Daichi and me living in one house, I don't wanna hear it", I stated.
All eyes looked at me now and I was staring back into my Mum's.
"Sydney...", my Mum started again.
"No!", I interrupted her. "I know you are the Mum and I am the child, but this conversation will not be happening ever again. YOU chose to move in with Eito and dragged me along so now you have to live with the consequences. Just because it didn't work out according to your plan doesn't mean you have to make me suffer even more."
My Mum opened her mouth but closed it again without saying a single word.
I gave her a fake smile and left them back at the table. I wasn't sure how many times I would be able to endure my Mum's unnecessary conversations involving Daichi. For a second I thought it would've been better when he was at college. But then I'd be living with only my Mum and Eito and somehow it felt good having someone going through the same stuff as me - or at least something similar.

I was scrabbling through the pantry looking for something to eat. My Mum was working on a case in the study while Eito was god knows where. But I didn't care. I was hungry because dinner hadn't been filling. I was sincerly hoping we wouldn't always eat tiny portions of fancy looking food. I'd rather have some Miso soup and rice with tofu and eggs. Just thinking about it my stomach grumbled. 
There had to be a pack of ramen somewhere...
"What are you doing?", Daichi asked leaning in the door to the pantry. 
"Obviously looking for something to eat", I said without interrupting my search.
"Do you wanna go for some burgers?", he asked.
Now I looked at him.
He wore a grey pair of sweatpants and a large white v-neck shirt. It was astonishing how this comfortable outfit still made him look handsome. Maybe that was a good look for my story.
Right - my story. That I haven't been working on for quite a while now even though the perfect inspiration was walking around right in front of my nose.
"Sure", I said, thinking this would be a great inspiration for my next scene. 
        I found myself back in Daichi's car. We went to a drive in burger place, ordered milkshakes, burgers and fries as well as onion rings and some hot wings. 
Daichi parked the car. Since it was quite late and the burger place was a little outside of town it was pretty much empty. There were only a few other cars but their owners were inside the shop munching on their late night snacks. 
"This is so good", I said when I took a bite of the burger I got.
I've scooted my seat all the way back, took of my shoes and sat cross-legged next to Daichi who was sprinkling chili flakes over the already spicy looking wings.
"Here", he said and held one into my direction. It almost seemed as if he wanted me to take a bite, but unsure what to do I decided to take the wing instead.
"Is it really spicy?", I asked him.
"Are you not good with spicy food?", he asked.
I tilted my head to one side. "Giving me this you are either trying to make a fool out of me by watching me choke on the spicy wing or you assumed I won't have a problem eating it."
"Or it just might not be that spicy", he shrugged his shoulders.
I took a bite and it was really delicious. "The chili flakes are really doing it here", I said happily and reached for another wing before Daichi could eat them all. 
He looked pleased.
"So are you okay?", he asked.
"Because of the wing?", I asked back.
"No, I actually meant because of your Mum. She seems to always bring me up."
"I'm so sorry," I said. It must be quite hurting for him having my Mum thinking so poorly of him. "It's nothing personal you know."
"Don't worry about me", he went. "I know how Japanese Mum's can be. I mean I have one too. I haven't seen her in a while but...", he stopped talking. "Anyways I know your Mum just wants to protect you and I hope that you won't fight because of me."
I looked at him, observing his face. If I were him I'd be mad. How could he not be when my Mum was obviously treating him so unfairly.
"Have you tried fries with vanilla shake?", he asked me suddenly changing the topic.
"Irgh no!", I went.
"It's really good", he sparkled. He opened his shake cup and dunked one of the fries inside only to eat it right after. 
I made a face. I heard of people eating that but I've never seen anyone actually do it.
"Try it", he said, dipped another fry into the shake and held it in front of my mouth. 
I hesitated for a moment but eventually ate the fry from his hand. 
He looked at me in excitement waiting for my response.
"Yea, no", I chewed. "I mean, it's not horrible but, no..."
Now he looked disappointed.
"What is your favorite color?", I asked.
"That's a random question", he went.
"I'm doing some research for my story."
He took another bite from his burger and I still waited for his response.
"Did you start drawing me yet?", he asked instead.
"Not yet", I said.
He nodded.
"I need to form his character a little more", I said.
"And in order to do that you ask me about my favorite color?", he wanted to know.
"The best characters are the once made from real people", I explained. "Because in a way it seems more realistic that way."
"I think my favorite color is blue", he said and seemed to be thinking about it. "Maybe black?", he made a face and drank some more milk shake. "I like a lot of colors. It depends on my mood."
"It depends on your mood?"
He nodded as if that should be something that comes without saying. "Like for example when I am sad I like more beige tones because they are comforting. And when I am happy or excited I like bright colors like orange or yellow."
It did make sense in a way when he said it like that. Though I never had that approach on colors.
"Actually...", I started. "...that it so smart", I finished and my face lightened up. "I can totally create moods with the colors of the drawings. I mean obviously I can but instead of creating the mood of the picture I can target on what I want the reader to feel."
I wasn't sure he knew what I was talking about.
"Sounds logical", he then stated.
"This is just perfect", I was already looking for my notebook that I took with me wherever I went for precicely these moments where I needed to write something down as soon as possible. "You are perfect", I suddenly said without thinking but then realized what I had just said. "I mean...you know.."
Daichi laughed: "Don't worry I know what you are trying to say. Your excitement is really refreshing. I like how you live for your drawings."
For a second I thought he was being sarcastic but looking into his sparkling eyes, I knew he was being genuine. It was exactly this moment where I knew why I liked being with him. Because I was able to be myself and he appreciated me for me. He really seemed perfect. He was incredibly handsome, smart, attentive and positive. All these traits created this cloud of attraction that I was caught in whenever I was around him. There was just one thing that dashed all of these perfect traits - he was my brother.