The Adventure of Andrea Baggins

The Company

Two tall dwarves stood in her doorframe. The left one of them was blonde, while the other had dark brown hair. They both gave Andy a wide smile.

"Fili", said the blond one.

"And Kili", said the other. In absolute perfect sync, they bowed. "At your service."

Speechless Andy stood there. "You must be the mini Boggins", Kili said and smiled at her. Without saying anything, Andy closed the door in front of their noses.

She couldn't believe it. The dwarf invasion had begun! Why on Arda, would they come to Bilbo's house?

Unfortunately, Kili was quicker and put his foot between the door and the frame. "Has it been cancelled?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"No one told us," his brother added worriedly.

"Yes!", Andy practically shouted in their faces. She had no idea what they meant by that. But if she could get rid of them that way, so be it. "It's cancelled. Now go back where you came from and stay there! " She kicked Kili's foot out of the frame and slammed the door. She leaned against it just in case they tried to open.

"That sounded like Fili and Kili," Dwalin said, shifting into her field of vision. She shook her head eagerly.

"No, it wasn't. "

"Then who was it?" asked Dwalin suspiciously, moving towards her to intimidate her. She pouted.

"You really think I don't have a social life at all, do you?" she asked back. This question seemed to confuse him, then he didn't answer. The door at her back shook as someone knocked on it. Again and again.

"Who is it?" called Dwalin in his loud, booming voice. A few faces appeared in the window next to the door. Fili and Kili smiled broadly when they saw him and waved.

"Dwalin! Hello! That strange girl shot us out. Is it really cancelled?" shouted Kili through the window. Andrea's eyes widened. Dwalin slowly turned his head towards her and stared.

Oh no.

She knew that look.

It was the look Bilbo gave her when he found out she had stolen one of his almond cookies.

I am dead, she thought. So, so dead.

She wanted to get out of Dwalin's way and let go of the door. What she hadn't expected was for the door to swing open with all the weight leaning against it, and for a pile of dwarves to roll in and over her. With a surprised squeak, she found herself on the floor, between feet, arms and sharp weapons. Everyone tried to get up at the same time. Two pairs of hands grabbed her and pulled her out of the pile of bodies.

"There you go," Fili said as they set her back on her feet.

"Nothing happened," Kili added as they brushed her off.

"Stop that," Andy said, wiggling out of their grip. The dwarves were scurrying around her, all talking at once, being loud and obnoxious.

"Shut it!" she shouted loudly. The dwarves immediately fell silent. "Thank you!" she said in exasperation. What on earth was she doing here, she wondered, already regretting what she was about to say. "So, dinner is that way. No questions about where to sit, what to eat and so on. Help yourself. Three rules: You clean up your own mess. Do NOT disturb me when I am reading. And Dwalin is not allowed to kill me. Understood?" She held up a finger at each rule she listed. The dwarves nodded and muttered quietly to themselves, even if Dwalin didn't seem too pleased about it. "Good. Now, who the hell called you here in the first place?"

A head appeared in the doorway. Everyone turned to look at Gandalf.

"He did," Fili pointed out. Angry with Gandalf, Andy glared up to him. The Dwarves felt uneasy, with this tension in the air and dismissed themselves.