The Adventure of Andrea Baggins

Giants

Andy sat down under a tree and cried for hours. She pulled her knees up to her body, her arms wrapped around them tightly. Silent sobs shook her body, tears slowly sliding down her cheeks. She did not know why this upset her so much. She knew that Thorin thought of her like that. However, hearing it somehow triggered something, and now she could not keep everything under wrap anymore.

Statements like that have accompanied Andy all her life. They habe been thrown at her from every direction. She tried and gave her best, but it was never enough. Not for most of the Valars, not for the elves, not for the dwarves, not for humankind. It never was and it will never be. All she could do was lose. That was her big superpower. She loses. Always.

A twig snapped. Andy jolted up, torn from her dark thoughts.

"Lady Fayeth? Are you here?» Ivasaar's gentle voice called out. Turning his head, he caught sight of her. Ducking under a low-hanging branch, he joined her in her hiding spot. Andy turned her head away, not wanting him to see her tears.

"Piss of, Saar. I'm not in the mood for company", she snapped at him. However, it did not have its usual effect, due to her voice sounding drowned in tears and shaky. Ivasaar tilted his head a little, looking at her side profile.

"What happened? I can feel that something threw you off. "

"Nothing. Leave me alone", she mumbled. Ivasaar ignored it.

"Has it something to do with the dwarf leader?" Andy's head snapped around.

"Yes! It does! Happy now?" Upset she threw her hands up. "The elves were right; I should have never trusted the dwarves. I thought I could help them, today as back in Beliand. I should have let them die, back then. Then at least I would still have the Elves as my friends. Now I have no one. Even humans and the Hobbits avoid me. Everyone hates me!" Her voice cracked again. Taking deep breaths, she tried to calm herself. Hesitantly Ivasaar laid his hand on her shoulder. For a second, Andy tensed up, before relaxing again.

"Not everyone hates you. »

"They do."

"I don't."

That took her by surprise. With wide eyes, she lifted her head.

"What?» she whispered disbelieving. Ivasaar bend closer, staring in her brown eyes, with his own grey ones.

"I don't hate you. I never did. I never will. "

Andy's lips parted, wanting to say something.

"Why?", was all that came out. Ivasaar's brows knitted together.

"Why should I?"

"Because I'm a failure. "

"That is not true, Lady Fayeth. "

"Andy", she corrected him automatically, making his lips twitch.

"Very well, Andy. Your destiny may not yet have arrived, but you still have a purpose to fullfill. "

"I failed my purpose a long time ago. I did nothing right. "

"That is not true. "

"Telperion and Laurelin were destroyed by a giant spider, Fëanor destroyed Aqualondë and I wasn't even strong enough to stop him! That is just the start of all my failures! How am I supposed to protect the races of Arda, if I could not even stop a stupid elf? "

Pressing her lips together, Andy lowered her head again, feeling ashamed. Gently Ivasaar grabbed her chin turning her head back up.

"If the stories are correct, you stopped Fëanor from killing the last Telleri. You let yourself get captured, sacrificing yourself, for them. You helped Beliand more than once. You raised Huon, who was the loyal companion of Beren and Luthien. You helped Dúrin and his brothers find a home, after they were allowed to settle on Middle Earth. You helped the Humans integrate. You fought in Dagor-nuin-Giliath, Dagor Aglareb, Dagor Bragollach and Niraeth Arnoediad. "