What Lies Beneath

Eighteen

Christian was hunched over in the driver's seat, his teeth gritted together, hands gripping the steering wheel, fuming. Avoiding his eyes seemed like the most reliable option when I first got in his car, however, his booming voice made me wish I could cover my ears instead.

"Wow. Breaking and entering." He laughed, more to himself, and shook his head. "Have you lost your goddamn mind!? Seriously, Tyler. What the hell were you thinking?"

I listened to the words barreling from his uncontained rage. Every few seconds his eyes would leave the road, finding my face. And every time they found my face, his face would scrunch up more. He was in disbelief. As if he didn't even know who I was anymore.

"I told you, we didn't mean to cause trouble. Patty and I saw a cat wandering outside the apartment, meowing and trying to get in. And the door was unlocked. So, we assumed the cat belonged there, then the cop caught us coming out after letting it inside." I'd planned this lie off the top of my head, since I had enough time sitting in the holding cell.

"Oh, and you thought going inside an unlocked apartment was a good idea?"

"We didn't steal anything," I muttered.

His eyes only narrowed, clearly set off by my persistent backtalk. He closed his eyes and released a few breaths. I sat quietly in the passenger seat, not wanting to anger him further.

"Tyler, look. I'm going to say this as kindly as possible. . . Cut the shit! That's not the point!" Christian spat, his veins nearly popping out of his forehead.

"You know what? Okay, fine. I'll play along. Because apparently, I'm fucking stupid." Christian used one hand to pinch the bridge of his nose, opening his eyes again. "You let the cat in, sure. Now what about sneaking out? You and your friend had no business being out this late at night! Let alone on the other side of town!"

"We were just—"

"If you tell me another stupid excuse, I'm going to lose my shit."

"But she lives on that side of town. . ." I mumbled, fiddling with my thumbs.

All I received was a scowl.

"Do you realize how much trouble you and your friend could've gotten into? You're lucky they didn't charge you both or put you both on house arrest! I hope you realize how much damage you've done tonight. I'm so fucking disappointed in you right now.

"I've been vouching for you, Tyler, and all you've done in return is act selfish! Are you kidding me? I can't believe you'd put everything on the line for this shit." He ran a hand over his face, muttering profanities I'd never even heard come from his mouth.

"I know. I'm sorry," I said, my voice small.

"No, sorry isn't going to cut it. Well congratulations. Your mom is going to kill you. She's fighting hard to keep you and Junior but you just keep giving dad a reason to win this case and take you away. Is that what you want?"

"No. . ." I didn't dare meet his burning gaze. My lap was proving to be a lot better to look at.

"Really? Because I'm starting to think that's exactly what you want." The tension bleeding off him was foreign to me. He shook his head again in disapproval. "You refuse to go to therapy and now you're acting out. What left is there for us to do? You don't want to talk to us about what's going on—whatever it is going on with you—so how are we supposed to help?"

You can't help. The words were on the tip of my tongue. They couldn't understand something I didn't understand myself. They couldn't magically make all my problems go away. They couldn't control something I myself had no power over. Let him in, a little voice patronized me. I wanted to scream all of my frustrations at him but I kept quiet. Like I'd always done.