Idiots Meet Demigods

Austin Crowdy

A boy! What a rare sight! 

Featuring: Chris, Clarisse

My buddy, Chris, he's awesome, y'know. He has these brown eyes and brown hair. Real good looking. He's a good guy as well. He deserves anyone in the world. But he chose her.

Apparently she had regrown her hair out so that it came a couple inches past her rib cage. But that girl was ugly. She had pretty eyes and that was about the only thing besides her hair she had going for her. She had this awful sneer that made me want hide behind Chris. And she was super muscular. It looked wrong. I was pretty sure girls were supposed to be pretty and delicate as a daisy. But no. He also let her insult him. Things like punk and dork.

It was like that guy had taken a blow to the standards and set them to 0.

Right now, we were driving me to my house to drop me off. Clarisse was in the passenger seat and I sat in the back.

Then a Riley Green song came on.

Chris was singing to Clarisse, "—Daddy pulled up, I was down in a ditch. And he asked me why I did what I did. There was this girl, spear in her hand. Shootin' me a "Let's get into trouble" grin. I ain't never seen somethin' so fine. And I was doin' anything to make her mine. I was out of my mind, she was out of this world. There was this girl."

Clarisse leaned away from him, "Shut up."

He smirked, "Only if I get a kiss."

"I swear to the gods, you punk, if I wasn't your girlfriend I would kill you right now." But she leaned forward and kissed him.

I scowled. I would talk to Chris about it tomorrow.

[~<^>~]

I rode my bike to his house. Nice place. He had a great mom. She made good pasta.

"Hey Chris, can I talk to you?"

"Sure."

We walked to his room. I locked his door.

"Wassup?" He asked.

"Bruh." I said, "Idk what happened to your standards but dude, you legit need a new girl."

He looked at me with distaste as though I had abruptly became a waste of his time, "Oh? And why might that be?"

"She's ugly as fuck. She insults you. She's muscular. She's a fucking freak."

I had awoken a rage inside him, "Clarisse is beautiful! She calls everyone punk and dork! It's about as much as an insult as 'dude' and 'bro'! And so what if she's strong! It's good to know that she won't die if I'm not immediately there! I love Clarisse and it's none of your business who I date!" He shouted. He told me to leave so I did.

Chris' POV

The door creaked open and Clarisse was behind it. "Fuck." I whispered.

"Well." She started slowly. "I and the entire world heard you and, um, I love you, too, you dork."

And I felt myself smile.